for being so stupid and so needy... I went to a friend's place Christmas eve day... we used to date 14 years ago and we have had sex here and there and everywhere actually on and off for years. Not while I was with my ex however. Anyway I go over and one thing lead to another and we had sex. So I am thinking this is great, he loves me I love him ( I always have ) and this is why my other relastionship had failed .... I tell him I love him. He says he loves me too... super right? Wrong, he loves me as a friend... never really thought of me and I quote " as a long term girlfriend".... now I feel like ass... firstly for sleeping with him, secondly for telling him how I felt and really believing in my heart he has felt the same way all this time and finally because I am just sick about it because I am a fool and I hate myself for feeling this lonely and needy and fear that there will never be anyone who loves me... ever.
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