I think many of us experience this give vs. take -
I know I too struggle with it. I have gotten really downtrodden in being used by 'takers' but we do teach people how to treat us especially when we keep giving to those who are only taking.

also, it feels weird when we stop giving everything to the takers. They look at us funny. What's going on? It surprises them. Try it sometime. I did it at work first... everyone always came to me for donations to buy stuff for parties. I always spent the most on cakes and stuff... then i just started saying "sorry, I can't donate this time." wow! it felt great! They looked at me funny but didn't dare question it cuz they knew I gave so much in the past. It just showed me that I don't have to say Yes every time. Occaisionally I can say No and that is OKAY....

I just had a taker try to take, as the person said, "Here's some conversation for you." Yes I was wanting conversation, but right away I noticed the other person projecting. It was they that appeared to be excited for conversation. And another thing was that that person did not acknowledge meaningful communications that I had made, yet was eager in getting me to go for what was of benefit to them.

i'm such a giver and so used to takers, i don't even know what's appropriate to give and what's appropriate to take.
most specifically what's appropriate to want to be given????
help!
interesting topic.

This is an awesome topic. Here's what I've heard/learned, yet continue to struggle with the execution of it.
1. Is it a want or a need...ask and thou shall receive. So if you asked and it is given-say "Thank you" and leave it at that.
ie: --This happened just yesterday--My landlord wanted to do something nice for us, she offered to reduce decembers rent and stated that she just wanted to give us a nice christmas. Because we've been struggling & fallen behind before, I said, "No I can't do that", she replied why, do you not know how to receive or say yes?

2. Exercising our NO muscle with others that manipulate. If you don't know who those people in your life are, get the book "emotional blackmail". This is difficult, but it can be fun. Muscles all over our bodies are not developed with out resistance training. So be aware, there will be resistance. If you don't have it to give, stating the obvious, "No, I can't help with that" is sufficient. It deserves no extra explaination. Why we feel we "have to explain anything" is beyond me. Maybe it's the "I won't be liked, I won't be admired, wanting another's approval...whatever....I'm guilty as charged, when a simple NO, sorry I can't would be absolutely appropriate.

3. If it doesn't feel right, don't give-you will only resent doing so later. I have done extensive laps on this one. You never give to someone who threatens you. For example, "If you loved me, you'd understand my need". This is manipulation-and you giving will prove no such love to that person period. Stating "This is what I have to offer or can offer" is establishing your limits. We all have limits and when people respect our limits, that builds trust. So I've heard....lastly-if it meets a need and is given freely, without strings attached or needing to jump through someone else's hoops, you know it is a gift, either that you've chosen to give or receive. It sounds so simple, but exercising it, is not. Good luck you all are in my thoughts and prayers.