Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
What good does forgiving do? I focus on forgiving and end up believing it was all my fault, that things were only as bad as they were because of my actions. He manipulates me, in so many ways, I see that, but I tell myself that isn't his intention, that he loves me, deep down, that he is just jaded, first from his past, and then from our trials and tribulations. Codependent?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
and before i go on about that, yes you are codependent... and i have a feeling that this website will do you good
www.youarenotcrazy.com
ok... now for the forgiving part... the biggest thing that someone needs to do with the whole forgiving hting... is to forgive themselves first.
How can you be expected to start anew when you can't forgive yourself?
Let's face it, many of us (codependent types) drag our wrongs(imagined and real) with us like a lead weight.
And that is why so many of us end up in abusive relationships! We find someone who will treat us the way we already treat ourselves! It's not that we necessarily want to be treated that way, it is just what we know. I mean, i know that before i learned to love myself, i freaked out when others treated me nice. It literally made me physically uncomfortable to get compliments! Don't get me wrong, i drank those compliments in like water during a drought, but still... i didn't feel that i deserved them... and yeah... i think i illustrated that point well enough...
you are not 'forgiving' if you end up feeling guilty; you are taking the blame. and you are prolly right that it isn't his intention to manipulate you, it is more likely a reflexive response to how he was raised or taught to treat you by you but just the same if he isn't willing to work to change, and if you aren't willing to work to change patterns of behavior you'll keep repeating...just some thoughts...