I have a coworker with a substance abuse problem. This summer he went to rehab but it was not voluntary. His behavior has gotten weirder and weirder and I'm sure he's back on the stuff again. He put me in the middle of a drug deal and tried to pass it off as something else. A friend of mine said I needed to protect myself but I wasn't sure what that would look like. I sought the advice of a counselor friend of mine and we spent about 3 hours working up a short confrontation speech. I practiced the speech with my partner and I couldn't sleep most of the night so I kept running the speech through my mind, over and over. When I got to work I was totally nervous about the speech and did not take advantage of the my first opportunity to speak to him. Then when he encountered me alone he had his OWN speech prepared and I couldn't remember any of what I was going to say. He had total control over the situation, denying that he put me in the middle of a drug deal, and being codependent I was only too happy to buy his explanation in the moment. I even shook his hand! I was ashamed the moment he walked away. I had let him roll right over me. I never even had the chance to express my anger at what he had done. I feel worse than before I sought the advice of others to protect myself.

My only consolation is that after this honeymoon phase when he gets weird again I'll get to try this speech again.