So, I talked to my cousin today. She told me that everyone is saying that I'm very distant from them. I've lived outside my family (by family I mean: granda, grandpa, cousings, ants, councles, second ants and cousin, ALOT!) because when I was ten, I came to live to the USA. Then, at 15 I went back and I was somebody else. I didn't fit with my cousings, I felt unconfortable in family dinners, I just didn't fit in. It hurted so much, because like any teen, you want to fit in somewhere, but I couldn't. So, after highschool I went to France, I couldn't stand my life, so I went and look for another one. One year later I come back, but I go to the university far faaar from home. I haven't been part of the BIG family, I know. Is just that it hurted when she told me that, when I really try is just that I can't. I don't know, it just hurts. The worst part is that I got thought that it would be ok if a bus hitted me, and I just died. I mean, I won't kill my self, but maybe, just maybe... I won't do it, but I don't like feeling these way, and these thoughts r really scary. I really hate my life sometimes.
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