I have just heard about this and now I feel that I must be a co-dependent. I need to learn about it and find out what to do about it. I have read some of your posts and intend to get the 2 books most commonly suggested. That will probably help. My husband of 23 years is an alcoholic and we are now separated because of his infidelity which I just found out about (went on for 5 years). There were some signs I guess but they were easily made to seem harmless, and I just trusted him so much that I made an excuse for everything. Plus he traveled a bit in his job and so it was easy to hide his affair. At the time we separated, we were so dysfunctional, and the sad part is I didn't even realize it until we separated and I felt at peace for the first time in years. I didn't even realize that I hadn't been at peace. I was so used to living according to his moods, and him making most of the decisions and being in charge of paying the bills and basically everything. One of the things I don't understand about co-dependency is that one of the symptoms is having to be in control. Well he was basically in control. He was always the dominant, bitchy one. So there's one symptom I don't think I had. But the other ones, like living day to day according to his mood, making excuses (to myself and others) about his behavior, etc. seem to point to co-dependency. Can somebody please explain exactly what it means so I can know if I am one, and what I should do about it. Thanks!
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