Hello - ten years ago, I was engaged to an addict (opiates). When I found out he was using, I broke off the engagement as I was not into that lifestyle and had never used drugs even recreationally.
Since then, I have had very serious issues getting emotionally intimate with men. I think this comes from my ex not being explicit with me about his drug use; I think I am having serious trust issues still, ten years later, because of my ex's drug use and his amazing ability to hide pretty much everyting from me while convincing me everything was okay??
Does anyone else feel this way? I just find it hard to trust anyone, male or female, who has come into my life in the past ten years since I broke things off with my fiance. I don't want to live this way anymore. How do I get over this post traumatic stress caused by my ex (addicted) fiance??????
I'm not judging, but I honestly have huge trust issues since being with him..... please help!!! Traditional therapy failed me ENORMOUSLY....I think I will only heal if I can hear directlly from addicts and their loved ones. I seriously need some positive strategies to move past this other than being told that I sucked at setting x, y and z boundaries and so I let this into my life. That does NOT work with me, so if you are a helpful therapist out there with HELPFUL advice, please, please.... I"m not even 40 but I'd hate to think I can't have a normal relationship because of this experience + my horrific counseling.
Thanks for even reading...
it's nice to know that I'm not the only one that has ever felt these sorts of feelings. I just wanted to say thank you to those that commented and let me know that I'm not completely alone, nor entirely crazy.
So I’m sure I’ll figure it out but the previous nights sleep was unsettled of too hot too cold sessions. Then today anxiety and feelings of such despair as well as last words in my head. Wondering how long this period will continue. I suppose I’ll just crawl off and fall asleep with hope to not awaken at all tonight. I should eat but really why bother, I’ve fed son and he has had his meds...