The fact that you are here says a great deal. People who don't want to change see nothing wrong with their behavior. You apprently see something about your behavior that you are not happy with - that's a very positive start.

I agree with LindaJean as well. The fact that you recognize something with your behaviour, and you are not only willing to change, but want to. You are here, along with alot of other people who see the same in themselves. I am in a similar situation and I have realized that I have been "stereotyped" by my partner. Saying that "people don't change" has to be one of the more negative phrases that I have heard myself, and I think at one point I truly believed it. I don't any more.

I agree with the other two responders; people change when they recognize and accept something (whatever it is) about themselves that they don't like, or want to do better. And it is hard work.
My thoughts are that you may benefit from recognizing and accepting that you can not "get her to trust" you or any changes she may/may not perceive in you. You can provide her with information and you can show her with you 'changed actions' but if she doesn't accept it or continues to feel the way she does (as she is allowed) you can't change that. As you know, you can only control, only change you.

Once apon a time when I was still working one of my clients was a social worker she pretty much said the same thing. "People don`t change and their negative behaviors worsen" . I tell you I tought that was such a negative attitude and I thought she was right and became somewhat depressed. Now I look at it this way. If people WANT to change they can and do, if they dont then their behaviors can and will worsen.
Thats my take on it and I`am sticken to it... : )

i've changed tremendously in 6 months. i feel i am new person.
the only way you can "get" her to trust is to keep walking the walk. trust is a gift you give to someone, it is not earned.
blessings!

Change is possible...it isn't easy and it's hard work but if you want to change you can change. You have to want it for yourself not because of someone or something. You have to be willing to dig deep and surrender all of yourself to the process. Sometimes change means losing or letting go of people, places and things.

Proof of change is something one must see...not just hear.

people only change when they want to....

i think that if she Thinks you won't change, then in her eyes you may never change. but i also know that change comes when you dig deep inside yourself and you are wanting to change for yourself to grow. doing it for someone else's approval or for any other reason will just get you nowhere. keep on truckin! she will hopefully believe in you in time. and if she doesn't, at least you can believe in yourself! that is the most important advice i can give you.

People who want to change can do just that.Life can begin new every day for everyone who wants that.I wish my ex boyfreind,who is moving back to town this week would want to give up drinking but I cant make him.I know I changed the bad gambling habit I had ,I stopped,finally.If I can cahnge that I feel anyone can cahnge thier bad habits too.I think we all have to get to the point that we are ready to give up the things that cause pain and harm us.

I've changed! People who don't want to change don't change...but people who finally see themselves can change. It's all up to you to do this...and if she refuses to see it, then it's her and not you.

yOU ALL ARE AWESOME! I NEEDED TO HEAR IT. I WOULD LIKE THE OPPORTUNITY-THAT'S ALL. HOPEFULLY SHE WILL LET ME IN. THE REST IS UP TO ME. HUGS TO ALL!!!!!!

People can change if they really want to. A drug addict will quit taking drugs to save his life if they really want to. Me, I know I have changed. But that is really part of life, we all are changing all the time. My stbx would not give us a chance to show that I have changed. She had it in her mind already to give up instead of trying harder.

People say "people don't change" and that's correct if you mean that you can't change people. I believe people grow, and there has to be a need and a desire to grow. People who lack this will generally not grow or change.
The people Laura is talking to may not see the need for growth and change in their own lives.