My ex was indifferent and had no empathy. He was very self centered, outright deceitful and unfaithful. I left 4 months ago feeling so small that it will take quite some time to pull myself back up. Why do I still have this little delusion that this narcissist might really be a decent person and that I am the one who is not a decent person? How is it possible that I can actually take responsibility for someone being cruel to me? It is almost like I feel if he did it I must have deserved it. I was sincere in my feelings towards him and I do not understand why I beat myself up over someone else doing things that are wrong and hurtful. Is this common with codependency or am I trying to drive myself crazy?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??