Hello, everyone. I am writing because I would like to have someone elses input on my situation, so that maybe I won't feel like I am crazy or stupid or something. I have been married for six years and the relationship has been rocky the entire time. About two summers ago we actually split up for about a month after my husband went on another drinking binge. But we got back together rather quickly. However, two years later, here we are again back in the same old patterns. The relationship has been emotionally, physically, and even sexually abusive over the years. The problems that we are facing again are tearing me up inside, but my husband insists that I am the only one with a problem. About a month ago I actually had to move into the spare bedroom, just so I could shelter myself from some of the cruelty. Despite the constant drift apart that I am feeling he keeps denying it. When I tell him that I am at my witts end, and that I really and truely cannot take anymore emotionally he basically is like well whatever. He constantly shows no emotion and tells me continuosly that it really dosen't bother him either way. Despite the constant agony of the marriage, I want to try and fix it somehow. I keep telling myself that if things could just go back to the way they were, then at least it would be better and possibly things would work out. But in reality I know that it was never really ever that good ever. I am reading Pia Melody's book, Facing Codependency and have come across something about delusional thinking. Is this what is happening here? Am I deluding myself about trying to regain a past that was never functional to begin with? Is my need to try and fix this another delusion, that things could actually get better? I just don't know why I can't seem to let go, even when it is causing me to feel depressed and even physically sick. I know that detachment is part of the healing process, but I don't seem to be very successful at it. Does anyone have any ideas on this or stories that they could share about how they practiced detachment.
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