I have been dealing with my co-dependent issues for about a year now. My situation came about around 10 years ago, I got involved with a group of people who were older, richer and lived the "good life". When I fell in with them, I felt like I "had arrived" All of a sudden I was going to fancy parties etc etc It didnt occur to me that the group was unhealthy. Its a bit of a closed system and there is usually a lot of drinking. I found myself left out of situatons, like really fun, exotic vacations that I really wanted to participate in It wasnt that we werent invited, it was that they had a very hard time being flexible with scheduling it beyond the "normal time" they always went "with the group." We finally were included in some things that were great, but I felt like it was such a hassle for it to happen. I feel like it shouldnt be so difficult. I'd feel sick to my stomach listening to them talk about their trips, before and after they went. I felt so left out. I also became overly involved with what we were and were not invited to. This became all consuming. the core of it revolves around another couple. I realized that I set up most of what we do, even though its really fun when we do go out. I think I set a precedent for this dynamic and now its hard to change I've back off considerably with asking them. I have a very strong friendship with him and a neutral one with her. I think that a big co-dependent dynamic I have is doing more than my share. I start going through withdrawal when too much time goes by and I dont see them. I have a separate relationship with him but am having a hard time detaching from the "couple thing." I hope this makes sense. I am doing MUCH better now than before, every time I create a new memory with someone else, I feel a little stronger.
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