There's been a lot of talk about forgiveness, reconciliation, and resentment. I've been in the middle of a mess involving the behavior of a family member who is probably mentally ill, but very protected by my family. She did something really bad to my parents, I'm the only one of the sibs to get mad. I have known that I have codependency issues for awhile, but have not had any problems that triggered me in along time. I'm having a very hard time letting go and letting god. My mother refuses to see this sib as having any issues at all and is angry at me for trying to fix what got broken because of this sib. (Believe me I know about the codependency need to fix stuff-I'm pretty sure I'm not going too far here, my mother asked for my help) I'm no allowed to get angry about the chaos this sib wrought. My mother and this sib are completely enmeshed, I would say that although my mom asked for my help, she defends this persons actions utterly and completely. She acts as if I had done something wrong. My sib is unrepentant. I feel as though my mother has chosen crazy over sane. I know my anger is threatening as in my family system anger is not allowed. anyway, my sib and my mom have no boundaries. I have detached from other members of my family for months and years due to craziness, but not my parent. I'm having a really hard time dealing with my mom. It's as if my sib poisoned her mind against me and she believed it. I feel so hurt by this. I'm doing alot of codependency rereading now and taking care of myself, but I want my mom back so bad. I never minded my sibs dysfunction so much until she took my mom with her. I'm so far from forgive and forget. My sib hates me and from past experience there's no reasoning with her ever. But my own recovery demands that I figure out how to get past this. I could use all the help I can get!!!!
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