
Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I deal with it by picking horrible relationships...rofl
I am working on this in therapy now...and the word that my therapist keeps saying over and over again is 'bounderies'
still trying to figure it out.
good luck to you
Im trying to figure out what all of this is teaching me.
For me, she has a really good explanation of boundaries. Essentially boundaries are a filter. We send out through the filter of love and we take in through the filter of love. If someone is sending us someone that doesnt apply to us we discard it, rather than internalize it.
Yea. Easier said than done.
At the heart of this is the issue of self-esteem. If we dont have self esteem then our filter is out of whack. What we perceive is the negativity that is really inside of us.
The few times the grace of the universe has allowed me to function with proper boundaries I felt attune with the goodness of life.
But for me, with my past experiences and current challenges, that attunement and oneness with humanity is a rare feeling indeed.
I long for it more than anything Ive ever wanted in my life. But I am starting to feel that I may never achieve it.
I guess, after this ramble, that what Im trying to say is,
All of us here are right along with you.
One day at a time dear.
it's awkward even beginning to think about something like that.
i know i am getting better at negotiating situations and improving communication, but i still am having trouble finding things i enjoy doing.
it's really kinda pitiful.
xo
With the new one, that isn't so. He hates sauerkraut but I love it. I buy it and eat it.
I realized it affected everything I bought. I didn't even know what shampoo I liked, or bath gel. Every time I run out, I buy something new to try. I buy his stuff, and then I buy mine. I used to feel all-consuming guilt. I still struggle with doing things for just me, or saying, "I'm going to do this or get this because I need..."
So, I "fake it, until I make it."
Like vranka said, force it until it is natural
my bf eats like a 10 year old boy and we rarely go anyplace exciting or different to eat. it's the same ol places, the same ol food. he orders the same thing everytime.
i'm going to start "new restaurant" night once a month.
yesterday we were out watching the football game and eating and i noticed men at the bar with a newspaper and a beer, having lunch alone and i thought---
gee, why can't i do that? just venture out on my own.
i used to do it, a long long time ago.
now i seem to "reserve" time for my bf.
well, no one is going to change that but me.