At the moment I am looking back over the last 8 years it is like door after door kept closing. It is bizaar I really dont know how I got here, middle age and no grounding. I don't know how I did not see it coming or even how or why I am here. It is like I fell in love with a man and similtaniously lost the faculty of reason. When you think you are in love somehow you think your life is OK even when it is not. It is when that person is gone and what you are left with are the ashes of a former life that you begin to see what a mess things are.
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