My DS friend "Warrior" asked me some really great questions... "What do you deserve in life? What kind of partner do you deserve? What kind of partner are you looking for?" I've thought about these questions a lot. And I've realized that it's not so much that I "deserve", it's more like I have a responsibility to provide certain things for myself. Things like a positive environment, security, healthy relationships, stability, joy, peace, fun :) And if a new "partner" doesn't contribute to those things then I have a responsibility to myself to remove them from my life. I haven't done a very good job in the past with this. And I think it was because I was looking at it the wrong way. Saying "I deserve" made me uncomfortable because it rubbed my codependent self the wrong way (entitlement is a sin for a codependent, right?)... it made me feel selfish (yikes!). But making it a responsibility to protect and take care of myself makes it seems like a sin not to.
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