
Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Hi don't really know where to start and the story is too long to go into depth about.
I'm 29 and have a family my mum has had a drink problem for a number of years but recently it has got a lot worse.She won't admit she has a problem or get any help but is happy to tell everybody how unhappy she is about her life in general but won't do a thing about it herself.
Recently it has got too much for me to deal with. I told her that i was worried about her drinking and was met with verbal abuse and personal insults. I haven't spoken to her for two weeks now. but prior to this i realised that a lot of the stuff i was doing for her was enabling her to carry on - id sort her bills out clear up her mess for her etc but i noticed she had started in small ways putting this pressure on my son as well which made me realise what i was doing was wrong.
So I ceased doing most things for her and she has slated me saying that i have changed and i'm not her daughter. Shes right i have changed and im finding it incredibly hard to do - but i have found acceptance that i cannot change anything but i can change the impact the things she does and say have on my life.
My husband bless him has put up with so much my mum hates him for no good reason and has turned most of my family against him by telling lies. I felt this was another form of her trying to exert her control over me.
I love my mum and i worry about her greatly but i cant stand what shes doing to herself or me anymore and i'm trying to shake the guilty feeling i have and any advice or support anyone has would be much appreciated.
I'm 29 and have a family my mum has had a drink problem for a number of years but recently it has got a lot worse.She won't admit she has a problem or get any help but is happy to tell everybody how unhappy she is about her life in general but won't do a thing about it herself.
Recently it has got too much for me to deal with. I told her that i was worried about her drinking and was met with verbal abuse and personal insults. I haven't spoken to her for two weeks now. but prior to this i realised that a lot of the stuff i was doing for her was enabling her to carry on - id sort her bills out clear up her mess for her etc but i noticed she had started in small ways putting this pressure on my son as well which made me realise what i was doing was wrong.
So I ceased doing most things for her and she has slated me saying that i have changed and i'm not her daughter. Shes right i have changed and im finding it incredibly hard to do - but i have found acceptance that i cannot change anything but i can change the impact the things she does and say have on my life.
My husband bless him has put up with so much my mum hates him for no good reason and has turned most of my family against him by telling lies. I felt this was another form of her trying to exert her control over me.
I love my mum and i worry about her greatly but i cant stand what shes doing to herself or me anymore and i'm trying to shake the guilty feeling i have and any advice or support anyone has would be much appreciated.
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I've read about al anon but not plucked up the courage to go yet. Since i had my row with my mum she has packed in her job which was a couple of hours a night cleaning at the place i work in. (Another thing i arranged to help her which i now wish i hadn't) but now i feel bad that she is home alone all day everyday but im telling myself it is her decision.
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