Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
PO is in treatment and on Friday I go to a Family group session then stay and eat dinner with him as a group. We get about 15 minutes to talk to eachother but never alone so really I don't talk about what I need or want from him cause I feel like if I do I will seem needy or selfish. On Saturday I lug the kids to see him. They get 45 minutes of Daddy/kids time at a small table and I watch and listen to him talk to the girls about all the things they have going on etc. It's so nice for him to be able to sit and talk to them as they are children and they really need that bond. I am abit upset and feeling like I'm selfish thinking this but I am the one that has paid all the bills, took on all the house responsibilities, paid for his treatment and continue to work for him on the outside as far as calls to the lawyer etc. Is it not as important for me to get some one on one time with him while he is in treatment? Are they afraid that we are going to fight or something that there is always a counselor with her nose in our conversation everytime we talk? I did get a kiss on the lips today only cause he took the opportunity as he walked me out the door as the counselor was on the phone although fastly behind us to make sure nothing happened. If he was in prison I would get at least a long embrased hug and kiss before and after each visit. I'm starving for affection. I know it's only 2 more weeks before he is home. Now don't get me wrong I'm not even thinking about sex. I want our communication. I want some private conversation...is that too much to ask???
I found myself feeling angry today when he called (he got a few minutes so he called) I was at walmart and the baby was screaming so he was like I'm out of time so I'm gonna let you go cause she is screaming and I couldn't make her stop. I can't be angry at a baby for crying even if it was loud when I was on the phone.
Is this being selfish of me to want this time with my man? Please pray for patients cause mine is getting small.
I found myself feeling angry today when he called (he got a few minutes so he called) I was at walmart and the baby was screaming so he was like I'm out of time so I'm gonna let you go cause she is screaming and I couldn't make her stop. I can't be angry at a baby for crying even if it was loud when I was on the phone.
Is this being selfish of me to want this time with my man? Please pray for patients cause mine is getting small.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I felt the exact same way , and I had a hard time explaining to people how I felt , it was a weird feeling , I felt very very sad and almost like that feeling when someone cheats on you . It was a real strong emotion , and I felt too like I was acting selfish .
I think I felt left out , and like they were treating ME like an outsider , like theirs all this support and togetherness in there based around him , and all of the sudden it seemed like they were acting like he needed protecting against me , all my efforts seemed to go unnoticed and it hurt .
I wonder why these treatment programs aren't more friendly to the people in the addicts life that are important ?
Seems like it just caused more problems for my DF because then we were having more problems because I was feeling upset . which arguing makes the recovery all the harder .
I completely sympathize with how you are feeling , I was there and I know how you feel.
I seriously got a call from him while I was in the truck in the walmart parking lot , and the baby was screaming etc.
Oh and another thing that bothered me is that they had a hall phone and whenever I called this young girl that was in there to clean out would answer , and I'd have to ask her to speak to him , and she'd be like "oh zach is in the shower right now " or she'd yell to him to come to the phone . It really upset me , I was so irritated and jealous feeling about just everything .
And very admirable that you are not a jealous person. .. I wish I could say the same .
Hang in there , just keep reminding yourself of what a short amount of time that is really is in the grandscheme of things . It is for the better. And also your feelings are NORMAL , and ok .
Hugs to you , it will be in the past in no time
I have to say another positive was, the center where my husband was at, I could call his unit's nurse and get updates, I could call his assigned counselor to get updates and education, and they too had a family day and it was group focused but he and I were able to do good work together to begin to communicate differently, better.
Can you call his counselor's, even his doctor? Are they willing to build a repore with you as well? We all know as the addicts partner we need the help and support in recovery too and that will help us all deal with these normal fears, normal emotions...