
Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
This is common with people who have had difficult childhoods and were not shown a healthy way to interact with people. Typically they were abused, or had affection and emotions withheld from a stoic and "sbsent" parent.
google, David Richo and see if you can find an article he wrote entitled "Maintaining Personal Boundaries in Relationships. If you can't message me and I will see if I can scan it and email it to you at your personal address. I believe it will help you a great deal.
God Bless you.
I myself just spent a year with no intimate relationships, so that i could work on myself, and for the last 6 months i have been in a relationship... and standing my ground, and not letting them walk all over me, and me not oding it to her... is very hard! able to be done... but hard.
This book can change your life.
STAY STRONG.
first, for me, when i find myself bitching about what a crap relationship i am in, i turn the focus inward and look at what parts of myself need healing.
this is my "meantime" relationship (also a great book "in the meantime" by iyanla vanzant).
i realized today that there is absolutely no way i can attract or keep a healthy partner until i'm healthy, this is going to take some time.
so i am trying to relax in this relationship (we are not married) and learn something about myself and others from it.
takes much of the pressure off when i'm not thinking of him as "the one".
additionally, with the friends who are codependent or going in circles, i just set strong boundaries. i tell them i love them and want their happiness but that i can't fix them. i usually suggest whatever 12 step program is appropriate for their ailment.
i realize how much i was enabling people to continue their behavior or depend on me for support.
i agree with jimmy, that being alone really helps get our head straight if we use that time to get it straight instead of wallow or grieve (too long) over the past relationship or having too many pity parties for ourselves.
ok, i've rambled but i think, for me, the key is unconditional love---for myself. when i am practicing that, everything else just seems to flow.
blessings and welcome new folks!