Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Shall i stay or shall i leave!
Hey all, Basically heres the story. I met someone 6 months ago, a guy! Spent a lot of time together to get to know each other. 5 weeks into the relationship i went to Barcelona with friends and i really missed him. Came bak refreshed, everything was fine. Four months later i go to Egypt and that was amzing spending a week on my own. My work friend text me and told me that she saw my b/f with another girl in town. I didnt say anything till i got bak from egypt but i was really p..isssd off cus i felt like i didnt need ot hear this whilst on holiday. So i came bak from egypt and i told him what my friend said! he said he was with his mum tht day. Anyway a few days after i got bak, we are atm y house and he said pam ive got something to tell u. At this point in our relationship its like 5 and half months of dating. He said while i was in Barcelone (which was four months ago) he went to Bridport his home town, got drunk and slept with another girl!! Y did i not scream, shout, kill him or do soemthing!! Anyway, i stayed with him cus i didnt know how i shud be reacting! i asked most of my friends and bascially they said its no excuse - dump him!!! sao it too me five weeks to actually leave! I asked him y he did it, he said that he was out of his head, it was a mistake, i didnt tell my parents we were together, i was confused thats y he did it, and also he said we werent married. he said hes done so much for me.!! also he doesnt work cus he has back pain, but yet he is able to have sex (alot of it) with me! is he addicted to sex! i dont know. he used ot be a alcholic! as well. He said hes done a lot for me, y cant i let it go, y am i making an issue out of it! also he doesnt work cus of bak pain so he is on benefits! i work and run my own house, so was he sponging off me, cus i used to buy everything etc like food. I think he is selfish and thinks of his needs only. One example is when we went to the supermarket to get some food. I picked upo 3 items, cakes, and some snacks and he did the same and he got one beer. So we get to till, and i realise that i left my debit card at home, so i had to put my stuff bak, and i even put the item he was paying for bak, so he must have thought ive got extra money now i can get anohter beer so he did! i was so furious cus he didnt offer to even pay for one item wich wud have only cost him 99 p for my choc late muffins! but instead he got an extra beer! how selfish can u get!! he also checks my phone wen i get a meesage, i simply ask him to pass it to me, but he will get thew message up, and tell me who its from! Also wen my house mate went to spain, she lost the detials of the hotel so she phoned me, and he got annoyed cus i answered and i helped her by accessing her emails! and i said wot wud u do if ur friend was stranded in another country, he said he wudnt answer it! wot the hell, its not me that going crazy! its him! i have to remain strong! and he keeps on pestering me to tell my family about him! and what am i gona say this is BOB, he slept with another girl dad in the first 5 weeks, wot do u think! please need advice. sorry its quite long.!
Hey all, Basically heres the story. I met someone 6 months ago, a guy! Spent a lot of time together to get to know each other. 5 weeks into the relationship i went to Barcelona with friends and i really missed him. Came bak refreshed, everything was fine. Four months later i go to Egypt and that was amzing spending a week on my own. My work friend text me and told me that she saw my b/f with another girl in town. I didnt say anything till i got bak from egypt but i was really p..isssd off cus i felt like i didnt need ot hear this whilst on holiday. So i came bak from egypt and i told him what my friend said! he said he was with his mum tht day. Anyway a few days after i got bak, we are atm y house and he said pam ive got something to tell u. At this point in our relationship its like 5 and half months of dating. He said while i was in Barcelone (which was four months ago) he went to Bridport his home town, got drunk and slept with another girl!! Y did i not scream, shout, kill him or do soemthing!! Anyway, i stayed with him cus i didnt know how i shud be reacting! i asked most of my friends and bascially they said its no excuse - dump him!!! sao it too me five weeks to actually leave! I asked him y he did it, he said that he was out of his head, it was a mistake, i didnt tell my parents we were together, i was confused thats y he did it, and also he said we werent married. he said hes done so much for me.!! also he doesnt work cus he has back pain, but yet he is able to have sex (alot of it) with me! is he addicted to sex! i dont know. he used ot be a alcholic! as well. He said hes done a lot for me, y cant i let it go, y am i making an issue out of it! also he doesnt work cus of bak pain so he is on benefits! i work and run my own house, so was he sponging off me, cus i used to buy everything etc like food. I think he is selfish and thinks of his needs only. One example is when we went to the supermarket to get some food. I picked upo 3 items, cakes, and some snacks and he did the same and he got one beer. So we get to till, and i realise that i left my debit card at home, so i had to put my stuff bak, and i even put the item he was paying for bak, so he must have thought ive got extra money now i can get anohter beer so he did! i was so furious cus he didnt offer to even pay for one item wich wud have only cost him 99 p for my choc late muffins! but instead he got an extra beer! how selfish can u get!! he also checks my phone wen i get a meesage, i simply ask him to pass it to me, but he will get thew message up, and tell me who its from! Also wen my house mate went to spain, she lost the detials of the hotel so she phoned me, and he got annoyed cus i answered and i helped her by accessing her emails! and i said wot wud u do if ur friend was stranded in another country, he said he wudnt answer it! wot the hell, its not me that going crazy! its him! i have to remain strong! and he keeps on pestering me to tell my family about him! and what am i gona say this is BOB, he slept with another girl dad in the first 5 weeks, wot do u think! please need advice. sorry its quite long.!
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
It was not a good time. Not one bit.
The other things for us codies is we often do things and then we resent doing them when we don't get the result that we "thought" we were going to get. That is really something to pay attention to.
When someone is sincere and respects us, we know it. It is not something that we should have to chase after or convince someone to do.
It you have not read the book Codependent No More, please do. It really will help you a lot I think:)
This man is opening up the relationship with dishonesty and a lack of respect for you. IF he was to sleep with another woman, you should of been told BEFORE about his intentions. NOT after the fact.
I say all of this with love and compasssion. Unless this man can get honest with himself, and step up to the plate, he will never be honest with you. And if you allow it, and there is no consequence, then we get more of what we have been getting. If someone does not know why they are doing something, then the behavior will continue.
Again, I say this with complete kindness. I think you know many of your answers, just by how you are feeling. You deserve much better treatment than that. And until we believe that, we will attract those that do not respect us.
((Hugs))
EllaBlue
And what would you tell a friend to do if her boyfriend of 5 weeks cheated on her? And why would you tell yourself anything less than what you would say to your friend? I think that many of us here are trying hard to learn to be our own best friend and sometimes it is easier if you think of it as something happening externally to someone else. At least it is for me. If I would tell my friend to do then why should I do anything different when it happens to me. Be your own best friend and the answer will come to you.
Put a stop to it. it is only a matter of time before he gives you the wonderful gift of an STD.
If a guy cares about you, the little things will come naturally.
Right now you are an easy mark, and he is taking advantage of it.
He most likely knows which buttons to push to get what he wants. You need to identify them, and disable them.
I would suggest that you take a close look at where you are now, and where you want to be. You don't deserve this treatment.
Read codependance no more. It is a real eye opener.
Alright... a joke right there... a bad joke, but yeah... you are in a typical abuse relationship... get out now before you are too far in.