
Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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I feel horrible. I thought I was getting past this aweful relationship. It's been a week and a half since this female confidant and me had our falling out and looking back I could see so clearly that it was a codependent relationship. Well I see her at church every sunday and last sunday she was playing the victim and saying all kinds of hurtful things to everyone we know. She is my 4 year old daughter's Sunday School teacher and even though she won't appologize she has had a close relationship with my kids.
She is always in financial difficulty, she is always in a crisis, yet she dropped an entire bag of dressup clothes for my daughters on our front steps this morning anonymously. I thought it was odd and don't like to spoil my kids, so I put them away where my daughters couldn't see them until I decided what to do with them. I found out it was her when we went to get the mail today and she had written a letter to my 4 year old daughter, it was a nice letter, but it mentioned that she had dropped off the dress up clothes.
So there I am, going through these clothes. The bag was completely filled to the limit with little girl shoes, dresses, necklaces, hair things, I'm sure it is all used but I couldn't help but break down crying. I can't believe she went and spent money on us when she has so little of it, we don't need it, and all of a sudden I felt just amazingly guilty. How could I not forgive her? How could I not let her back into my life? I don't want her to be miserable but logically I can't go back to the way things were with our friendship because it was a horribly unhealthy one. I'm sure if I told her this she would get terribly offended and blow up at me just like she did the last time.
The relationship went sour when she tried to drive a wedge into my marriage, so of course getting back into a relationship with her would put a lot of strain on the relationship with my husband. So what on earth should I do with all those clothes? How can I forgive her and yet move on with my life and not continue another unhealthy relationship with her? Why do I feel so guilty even though I know I haven't done anything wrong here?
She is always in financial difficulty, she is always in a crisis, yet she dropped an entire bag of dressup clothes for my daughters on our front steps this morning anonymously. I thought it was odd and don't like to spoil my kids, so I put them away where my daughters couldn't see them until I decided what to do with them. I found out it was her when we went to get the mail today and she had written a letter to my 4 year old daughter, it was a nice letter, but it mentioned that she had dropped off the dress up clothes.
So there I am, going through these clothes. The bag was completely filled to the limit with little girl shoes, dresses, necklaces, hair things, I'm sure it is all used but I couldn't help but break down crying. I can't believe she went and spent money on us when she has so little of it, we don't need it, and all of a sudden I felt just amazingly guilty. How could I not forgive her? How could I not let her back into my life? I don't want her to be miserable but logically I can't go back to the way things were with our friendship because it was a horribly unhealthy one. I'm sure if I told her this she would get terribly offended and blow up at me just like she did the last time.
The relationship went sour when she tried to drive a wedge into my marriage, so of course getting back into a relationship with her would put a lot of strain on the relationship with my husband. So what on earth should I do with all those clothes? How can I forgive her and yet move on with my life and not continue another unhealthy relationship with her? Why do I feel so guilty even though I know I haven't done anything wrong here?
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It was very destructive to my well being, always rescuing, always waiting for the outcome of the others crisis? It was also extremely difficult for my children.
You can forgive her, and yourself, and work on a healthy relationship with yourself, then just let go of the outcome.