It was 58 days without coke this time. I was drinking here and there with no problem - I thought it was gone then WHAM! Got completely drunk, started scheming in my mind, hopped in my car and made a complete ass of myself at a local bar. Not to mention that I got a couple of bags and stayed up until 5am, missed an important meeting at work the next day. I know that alcohol is the gateway to cocaine - i have never ever done coke without first being drunk. I was clean and sober for nearly 2 years ending in 2008. I won't go to meetings again, or admit I'm powerless over anything. I know I have the power to resist both alcohol and cocaine - but do I have the true desire to cut off my entire social group, and family events? Do I really want to isolate again? No i don't, but it seems like the only way. Life is a bitch, and I hate having this problem.
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