I have been using since yesterday and I am feeling really down right now because I am risking my job and my health and yet I continue to use - I go to NA - but I have not been able to stay clean longer 30 days. I do not handle my life and do not know how to handle life on lifes term. I don't talk to anyone about my problems or how I am feeling I feel my life is not that important. I have a good job and I love what I do and I am putting it at risk again. WHY do I keep doing things to sabatoge my own happiness. There is so many people that think I have stayed clean but in reality I have not and there is nobody to turn to - so I am turning to you all.
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