I used yesterday, I have been battling it for so long now I just couldnt hang on. I just dont know what is wrong w/ me. I know I should have just not used but I let it take over. now I am dealing w/ guilt and shame. In a lot of ways and I know this is no excuse but my husband relapsed last week and for about four months now i have watched him relapse about once a month. I really dont know what to say part of it was jeliousy and part was payback. stupid me. well I have celebrate recovery tonight and I will have to drag myself in there and confess. It is going to be so hard. I guess I will go back to my chemical dependency group and start all over yet again. thanks for letting me vent.
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