Thanks to those of you who replied to my first posting. Your kind words were so helpful. I went to my first nar-anon meeting the other day and it was so great to hear from others that I am not alone in my experience.

I am moving forward with my separation from my husband. His family continues to remain in denial about his addiction (he acts perfectly normal around them apparently) His mom has enabled him by giving him her car to use for a couple of weeks, since I own our car. He told his mom that he needed a car to get to his therapy appointments. He's told his family that he's in therapy to deal with our pending divorce. I don't believe that he is really going, or if he is, he has duped the therapist.
So, here is my frustration. I told my H that I didn't want any contact from him. I told him to text me the name and number of his lawyer when he had one. Of course, he couldn't do that! He emailed me Tues. to tell me that he was close to retaining a lawyer, but not quite there yet. He also asked to use my car while I am away with a group of my students next week. I refuse to let him use the car since I found pens with coke residue in them in the car and a bunch of rolling papers. I didn't respond to his message.
Then, today he sent another email indicating who his lawyer was, that he's committed to a collaborative divorce process, blah, blah. He tried to make himself look very amicable etc. I don't know if I should respond to this message or ignore it??
In addition to this, I ordered a book about understanding addiction from Amazon. It arrived in our mailbox last week, but it was stuck and I couldn't get it out. I also had a bill that was in the mail as well.I went to pick up my mail today and the book and the bill were gone. I have a feeling my H took it! I wonder if he is enjoying reading "The addictive personality:understanding self-deception"! Should I say something to him or just ignore the fact that he stole my mail?
I am slowly realizing that he is just emailing me as a means of control since I don't want contact with him. I was his punching bag for so long and now there isn't anyone around to help him. He has to be nice to his family right now, since they are the ones who will bail him out of the financial nightmare he has created. To the recovering addicts on this site, am I correct in thinking that he just wants some sense of control or am I reading too much into this? He still has no idea that I have figured out his financial mess (I hired a PI) and that he's got a coke habit that runs about $700-1000 per day!
Thanks!