Cocaine Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Cocaine addiction is the excessive intake of cocaine, and can result in physiological damage, lethargy, depression, or a potentially fatal overdose. Though the immediate craving to do more cocaine is strong and very common, this feeling usually subsides in most users within an hour. This craving can, as it has in many users, develop rather quickly into an intense...
Step 9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
With Step 9, the goal is to apologize, sincerely, to every one we've hurt. It's a way of continuing to take responsibility for our actions. Taking full responsibility for the damage we've done is a necessary step if we are truly to let go of the past and move on to our new, empowered future.
Step 9 is also one of the most difficult to actually do. It's one thing to make a list of the people we've hurt as we did in Step 8 but quite another to go to those people in person or in writing, and actually admit what we've done and work to make it right with an apology and, if warranted, restitution.
"Whenever possible" isn't an excuse
It's so tempting to skimp on this Step! We want to believe that, for example, our children were too young to be affected by our addiction, or that we had been successful in hiding our problem at work. Of course, if we're honest with ourselves, we'll see that this just isn't true. Even if the people we harmed didn't actually realize we were addicted, we still did cause problems and we need to make amends.
It's also tempting to use the 'wherever possible' as a way out. There are times when we can't apologize the person may be dead or we may not know how to find them. A close look, however, will usually reveal these instances are few and far between. If we truly don't know how to reach someone, or even how to find out there's not much we can do but stay willing in case they surface. But staying willing is a must.
There are a few cases where making amends can be skipped and that's when an apology on our part would harm the person we're apologizing to or someone else. Note, however, that this is not about if such an apology would hurt us only someone else. The classic example of this involves love affairs you know, if a confession of regret would let a wronged spouse know about a liaison that they had been unaware of that sort of thing.
These instances need to be approached with caution and, preferably, in consultation with a sponsor or other advisor that can help us be honest. Usually we'll find there is a way it just takes more work.
Sooner is better than later
Finally, although the Step doesn't spell out a time frame, it's important we get on with this chore as quickly as we can. Even if we don't relapse behind a delay, we get stuck if we don't do Step 9. On a practical level, this usually means getting the bulk of our amends done as soon as possible. Family, friends, co-workers and bosses can be approached in a relatively short period of time.
Once we've handled these, we may have a small collection of amends that end up on hold for one reason or another. For example, with the advice and consent of my sponsor, I postponed returning the money I'd siphoned from the Girl Scouts for a couple of years. Then my income settled down, my bills were caught up and I send the national office a check with a brief explanation and apology.
Confronting and making amends for our past is a powerful action, propelling us toward the full promises of the Program.
Love, peace and abundance,
http://www.powerfullyrecovered.com/articles/9thstep.htm
With Step 9, the goal is to apologize, sincerely, to every one we've hurt. It's a way of continuing to take responsibility for our actions. Taking full responsibility for the damage we've done is a necessary step if we are truly to let go of the past and move on to our new, empowered future.
Step 9 is also one of the most difficult to actually do. It's one thing to make a list of the people we've hurt as we did in Step 8 but quite another to go to those people in person or in writing, and actually admit what we've done and work to make it right with an apology and, if warranted, restitution.
"Whenever possible" isn't an excuse
It's so tempting to skimp on this Step! We want to believe that, for example, our children were too young to be affected by our addiction, or that we had been successful in hiding our problem at work. Of course, if we're honest with ourselves, we'll see that this just isn't true. Even if the people we harmed didn't actually realize we were addicted, we still did cause problems and we need to make amends.
It's also tempting to use the 'wherever possible' as a way out. There are times when we can't apologize the person may be dead or we may not know how to find them. A close look, however, will usually reveal these instances are few and far between. If we truly don't know how to reach someone, or even how to find out there's not much we can do but stay willing in case they surface. But staying willing is a must.
There are a few cases where making amends can be skipped and that's when an apology on our part would harm the person we're apologizing to or someone else. Note, however, that this is not about if such an apology would hurt us only someone else. The classic example of this involves love affairs you know, if a confession of regret would let a wronged spouse know about a liaison that they had been unaware of that sort of thing.
These instances need to be approached with caution and, preferably, in consultation with a sponsor or other advisor that can help us be honest. Usually we'll find there is a way it just takes more work.
Sooner is better than later
Finally, although the Step doesn't spell out a time frame, it's important we get on with this chore as quickly as we can. Even if we don't relapse behind a delay, we get stuck if we don't do Step 9. On a practical level, this usually means getting the bulk of our amends done as soon as possible. Family, friends, co-workers and bosses can be approached in a relatively short period of time.
Once we've handled these, we may have a small collection of amends that end up on hold for one reason or another. For example, with the advice and consent of my sponsor, I postponed returning the money I'd siphoned from the Girl Scouts for a couple of years. Then my income settled down, my bills were caught up and I send the national office a check with a brief explanation and apology.
Confronting and making amends for our past is a powerful action, propelling us toward the full promises of the Program.
Love, peace and abundance,
http://www.powerfullyrecovered.com/articles/9thstep.htm
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
You know I When I made my list I had so many people to ask for forgiveness from. (years ago when in the programe) And I had been through the steps a few times...
It was way too much! But I followed through and did as my sponsor suggested.....I fired her shortly after (very controlling)
But I found that I have no one to ask forgiveness from!Or to make amends to accept my self. My guiding light I suppressed for years! My addictions stemed from so much abuse (as a child)and hurts others caused me I stopped making those lists and started to make a list to forgive others! I had to go through the hating hurting phase. As my evolution as a being has grown it has become much more acceptable for me to share with others with compassion and love for myself how I felst they had harmed me! (As well as allowing my being to know exactly who I feel a sense of remorse for the pain I caused them!) (I coped by harming myself) I had to first forgive myself then forgive others then the honest remorse followed as I became clearer in my rediscovery! Not until then could I really be honest about my truenss. Most of the pains I had were happenings recreated over and over until that mental picture became so much apart of mysery that I forgot to live for the moment. My life was swallowed by the passed. No time like the present hey? Indeed tis a gift!
There is no then that is stronger than the now!
Sherose!
Namaste'
This little light of mine....I'm gonna let it shine! :-)
Make direct amends to our people about our struggle against the alcoholic (switch to drug of choice)disese wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Antiga's thriteen circles
#9 We mend our lives with respect for all.
Sara's steps
#9 Made amends with respect for all concerned.