Cocaine Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Cocaine addiction is the excessive intake of cocaine, and can result in physiological damage, lethargy, depression, or a potentially fatal overdose. Though the immediate craving to do more cocaine is strong and very common, this feeling usually subsides in most users within an hour. This craving can, as it has in many users, develop rather quickly into an intense...
Step 7: Humbly asked God* to remove our shortcomings
Once we have become truly willing for the God of our understanding to remove our 'defects of character' (or shortcomings or whatever you want to call them), we simply need to ask that's what Step 7 says. In some ways it really is that simple.
Of course, it doesn't always feel that simple!
The 7th Step is the letting go step. Letting go is a big subject for us. It often seems as if we should be able to let something go, but it feels stuck.
It's starts with acceptance
One way I look at all this is that acceptance proceeds letting go, and once acceptance is there, letting go almost takes care of itself almost. Step 6 is really where we reach true acceptance.
As an old timer in Alcoholics Anonymous used to say, over and over again, "You've got to accept it just as it is!" He'd go on, saying that if the acceptance was real and true, the letting go would just happen. He'd point out we couldn't cheat by accepting it so it would change the acceptance had to be absolute and total and then, he'd continue, "of it's own action it will change." I've found he's often right; in fact, if it doesn't change I now figure I haven't really accepted it.
Seek and do God's will
Of course, in Step 7 we are also dealing with humility have you looked humble up recently? My dictionary includes such statements as 'not haughty or arrogant.' Unfortunately, it also contains such phrase as 'not assertive' and 'low,' which, if taken too literally, puts us back at powerlessness over everything, not just our addiction. Obviously, there must be some balance here.
As addicted people, no matter what addiction we claim, we have lots of experience with humiliation. We know it from the results of our addiction, and we usually discover we don't have much solid self-worth.
That's not what we're after here. The 12 and 12 sets us straight when it says, in Step 7, that humility is the desire to seek and do God's will.
Knowing God's will for us is a huge subject! Theologians have debated it for thousands of years. The authors of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous were smart enough to stay out of this battle. There is, however, an approach that's much simpler, and if we have learned to be honest with ourselves, works as a good guideline. It's this:
If something works well for us, it's probably God's will for us.
Think about it and see if it fits for you. If it does, it means we have to know a bit about ourselves we need to know what we're good at; what we're bad at, and all that stuff in the middle.
For many of us, recognizing what we're good at is the hardest part of this. One way to begin to get at it is to look at what you do easily. For instance, for years and years I thought everyone could write reasonably well because I found it fairly easy to do so. When I discovered that most feel writing is really difficult, I was forced to recognize that I'd been given a talent it is the antithesis of humility to deny that, because I would be denying a talent that I had been given.
On the other hand, I also have to recognize that balancing a checkbook is almost impossible for me really!
Both are true for me other things will be true for you. Learning to accept, and be a good steward of our gifts is part of the power of the 12 Step Program.
Love, peace and abundance,
http://www.powerfullyrecovered.com/articles/7thstep.htm
Once we have become truly willing for the God of our understanding to remove our 'defects of character' (or shortcomings or whatever you want to call them), we simply need to ask that's what Step 7 says. In some ways it really is that simple.
Of course, it doesn't always feel that simple!
The 7th Step is the letting go step. Letting go is a big subject for us. It often seems as if we should be able to let something go, but it feels stuck.
It's starts with acceptance
One way I look at all this is that acceptance proceeds letting go, and once acceptance is there, letting go almost takes care of itself almost. Step 6 is really where we reach true acceptance.
As an old timer in Alcoholics Anonymous used to say, over and over again, "You've got to accept it just as it is!" He'd go on, saying that if the acceptance was real and true, the letting go would just happen. He'd point out we couldn't cheat by accepting it so it would change the acceptance had to be absolute and total and then, he'd continue, "of it's own action it will change." I've found he's often right; in fact, if it doesn't change I now figure I haven't really accepted it.
Seek and do God's will
Of course, in Step 7 we are also dealing with humility have you looked humble up recently? My dictionary includes such statements as 'not haughty or arrogant.' Unfortunately, it also contains such phrase as 'not assertive' and 'low,' which, if taken too literally, puts us back at powerlessness over everything, not just our addiction. Obviously, there must be some balance here.
As addicted people, no matter what addiction we claim, we have lots of experience with humiliation. We know it from the results of our addiction, and we usually discover we don't have much solid self-worth.
That's not what we're after here. The 12 and 12 sets us straight when it says, in Step 7, that humility is the desire to seek and do God's will.
Knowing God's will for us is a huge subject! Theologians have debated it for thousands of years. The authors of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous were smart enough to stay out of this battle. There is, however, an approach that's much simpler, and if we have learned to be honest with ourselves, works as a good guideline. It's this:
If something works well for us, it's probably God's will for us.
Think about it and see if it fits for you. If it does, it means we have to know a bit about ourselves we need to know what we're good at; what we're bad at, and all that stuff in the middle.
For many of us, recognizing what we're good at is the hardest part of this. One way to begin to get at it is to look at what you do easily. For instance, for years and years I thought everyone could write reasonably well because I found it fairly easy to do so. When I discovered that most feel writing is really difficult, I was forced to recognize that I'd been given a talent it is the antithesis of humility to deny that, because I would be denying a talent that I had been given.
On the other hand, I also have to recognize that balancing a checkbook is almost impossible for me really!
Both are true for me other things will be true for you. Learning to accept, and be a good steward of our gifts is part of the power of the 12 Step Program.
Love, peace and abundance,
http://www.powerfullyrecovered.com/articles/7thstep.htm
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Anyway here is a couple of alternatives from the 12 step to letting go: (And these are just some options...I am not arguing or denying 12 step if it works do more!!! or add on or open up (you get my meaning) ;).....again I am about options and education and what ever works!!!Even fillips modafil (hope I spelled it right) All with loving kindness and compassion. It builds stronger bridges I believe.
(this is more focused on relationships but the self as well, of course)!
From the Serenity Principle By Joseph V. Bailey
(Section Relationships and Addictions)
The Science of Letting Go
Earlier in my life, as a family therapist working with addicted family systems and as a member of Alanon, I often heard and used the term "let go". It was easy enough to say but very difficult to do. When I first attended a seminar of Psychology of Mind, I immediatetely realized that here was the key to a scientific a practiccal understanding of how to let go. Letting go means taking atttention and thoughts off a particual person, event, or behavior. In addiction's lanuage, it usually means to stop controlling the behavior of others or ourselves. When we can't let go, we can't quit thinking about it. We don't recognize that we are doing thinking and believe that others need to change before we can feel better. In fact, it is only when we drop our negative thoughts that we feel better. Take Peter , for example, who said he wouldn't be happy until his wife Jane quit drinking. Once she did stop, he still felt bad because he couldn't trust her abstinence. In both situations, his thinking was producing his unhappiness. The choice is ours; when we choose to let go og our negative thoughts, our natural serenity will surface. Once we recognize that we are thinking, we are free to choose whether to be happy or to be right-right about worrying, being angry, hurt, or any other negative emotion.
Being right isn't winning when it diminishes the love and respect in our relationships. When we stop trying to analyze, manipulate, or fix the addict, we see that he is responsible for his own change. When we stop trying to find our salvation in others, we percieve that it is within us. When we realize the principle of thought as a voluntary function, we see that our thought system doesn't have to control us as we once believed. Once we see through the "grand illusion"-that trying to control others can cure them of their addiction-we see that happiness can only come from within us. We also understand that other people who are acting insecure are doing so innocently and need compassion and understanding, not judgment. The cornerstone of recovery is to realize that we are responsible for our happiness, free to create whatever life we choose. If we truly want to be happy, we must be willing to let go of guilt, resentment , and other negative thoughts associated with others that is not based on insecurity or need, but rather on love and understanding.
The Impact of Serenity On Relationships:
As we come to understand the principles of the psychological funtioning, our relationships take on a whole new form. When we feel secure, we can better distinguish who is responsible for what in a relationship. For example, we stop feeling guilty for others' shortcomings or behavior even if they tell us we are responsible. When we stop playing games, so must they-or they must find other playmates. It takes two to tango. When we feel serene and secure we are naturally more open, respectful, and loving toward others. There is no need for defensiveness or blame because we are at peace with ourselves and the ego is not trying to protect its image. We are able to appreciate others' positive characteristics and feel compassionate when they are insecure and behaving negatively. We are patient with others' changes and let go of our need to control them so we can feel good. Although we want to help others realize their own serenity, we know we can't do it for them. Above all, we see beyond otheres' insecure habits to their inner goodness. As we recognize it, they are encoraged to recognize it too.
Joseph V Bailey
the serenity principle
Twelve Steps by Jerry Tehilapi. Lakota
#7~Humbly ask the Great Mystery-Tunkasila-Ate to remove our short comings through Lakol wicoh'an, our tribal ceremonial teachings and spiritual growth.
Antiga's Thirteen Circles
#7 We become ready to say no to oppression.
Sara's Steps
#7~Honestly desired to abandon these behaviors and pursue instead those that bring strength and renewal.
16 steps for discovery and empowerment:
Charlotte Davis Kasl:
#7 We become willing to let go of shame, guilt, and any behaviour that keeps us from loving ourSelves and others.
Info from
Charolotte Davis Kasl. Ph.D
Many Roads One Journey
(Moving beyond the 12 steps)