My dad died 3 weeks ago, and it was the most earth shattering thing that's ever happened to me. I drank more often than i care to admit, and i did cocain as often as i could. honestly? it's fun as shit. but now, i've done it every day since my dad passed, and whether or not it's good for you, i'm still wondering if it's happening because i'm dealing with a death in my life, or because i'm dealing with the fact that I cant's stop thinking about how the guy i've been "dating" for 7 years is not the right one for me.
reading that probably sounds like the dumbest things in the world. but for real. he has been there for me through every hard time i can imagine. my dad dying. me flunking out of school. me getting back on track with school. me in between jobs. I can't tell how I feel about him because I can't tell what's real or not. then i start getting these thoughts about how i have like daddy issues or some bullshit so i'm overthinking it or whatever. but at the same time, he dated someone else when we were "together." he fucked someone else when we were "together." both people I knew. and now my gut won't tell me anything other than"bitch, stop being dumb."
he's probably doing this constantly. always. it's like my sub conscious is telling me through dreams i'm constantly having that he's a bad guy. then when I wake up, i convince myself that he's been there for me through some tough shit and loves me, so to forget it. what's the truth?
anyone out there with stories, real life. literally anything.... please share. this is no longer the place where i'll hate what you share, or kill the messengers like most women say. he's probably a total asshole.
bottom line.... be honest. be real. dont be afraid.
this definitely went off topic from what i thought. pretty much doing drugs to cope with the bullshit i've been dealing with, just like everyone else. we're lying if we say it's not because of a stupid guy, a stupid girl, our parents, a death, work, friends, or the simple fact that it just feels good. to me though, it feels like a more recent thing, so i would love some incite and advice into what might be going on in my head that i'm not actually thinking about.
I was born and raised in lonodn and alot of kids in my area would do drugs for what seems like fun from the outside but they had a reason.they would do drugs due to stress, family fights, or jealouslyI come from a respectable family and some of my friend didnt even have £5 to go out on the weekends, and they saw that my parents would give me some money to spend on the weekend and this shocked...
I'm seriously thinking about not ever going back and posting anything on the Breakups and Divorce community- i thought i was depressed before- instead of support - they are totally calling me names and making me feel the way i did before i joined this site- worthless and horrible..... u know just makes me think if others think this way of me- maybe i really am.....