It would be best for your boys to have their Mom. Even if it means your boys have to be taken away. The other solution is your boys watching their Mom die or go to jail. After you have the proper help your boys will have their Mom back. I had 5 children at home when I was using. My using was what messed their lives up. It wasn't the 30 days I spent in rehab. Don't let the drug take you from your boys.

I am so proud of you for having this moment of clarity. We as addicts have them and most often then not we chose to ignore them and we end up in jails, institutions, or death.

Both you and your husband must come to realization that your life is out of control and no longer manageable. You must also realize that your children are suffering from all the chaos because I am sure they are not getting any structure in their little lives.

I think you and your husband need to take the boys to a grandparent and get yourselves to a meeting. Dont walk, run. Raise your hand when you are there and say that you need help. Get a phone list of women for you and a phone list of men for your husband. If you have a local detox center, maybe you should think of admitting yourselves. You owe to yourselves and to your children.

Please do not feel like you and your husband are weak for having an addiction, or asking for help, or not being the kind of parents you want to be.

You cant change the past, but just for this moment you never have to use again. Just for today you never have to use again.

I am here for you, anytime.

YEAH YOU NEED TO JUST BREAK THE CYCLE... GET AWAY FROM IT AND TRY TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO.... IF YOU NEED REHAB THEN GO, BUT YOU CAN ALSO TOUGH IT OUT. IT'S MUCH MORE PSYCHOLOGICAL THAN PHYSIOLOGICAL UNLESS YOURE USING NEEDLES

FOR ME, GETTING AWAY AND PUTTING A BREAK IN IT, STARTING A NEW LIFE ROUTINE WITHOUT IT...

YOU ARE PROB. CODEPENDENT WITH YR. HUSBAND TOO SO A SEPARATION WOULD PROB. BE GOOD TILL YOURE BOTH CLEAN... AND IF ONE OF YOU CANT STAY CLEAN THEN YOU NEED TO SPLIT.

YOU JUST NEED TO GET A BREATH OF AIR AND GET YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND. GET FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO HELP. PUT THE SHIT DOWN AND GO BOWLING WITH THE KIDS. ANYTHING. GET A SPONSOR.

SIX YEARS AGO IN LA I WAS DOING ABOUT TWO GRAMS A DAY EASY, SNIFFING AND SMOKING IT, THERE WAS ALWAYS HUGE BAGS OF IT AROUND...

NOW PEOPLE CAN DO IT IN FRONT OF ME AND I DONT MIND. ITS ALL ABOUT FORCING A BREAk IN YOUR ROUTINE... AND IF YOU CANT STICK TO IT THEN REHAB

GOOD LUCK. BE STRONG, COKE'S DEVIOUS BUT NOT VERY SMART. YOU CAN BEAT IT, ITS A STUPID DRUG, JUST A WASTE.

WHEN YOU STARTED DOING IT IT WAS FUN, RIGHT?

IS IT FUN NOW?

i am an addict too. i have 2 children also, 7 and 14. if you go to an agency to get,help they will not take your children away from you. my suggestion is to get into an outpatient program to get started. it will give you support and accountability. thy will drug test you and keep you honest. if you really want to quit, this is something that you need. i was told if i didn't get help my children would be taken away. coke isn't worth it. get yourself into to program, and start going to meetings. once you start going to meeting, get youself a sponsor. they are very important. they can help you through alot. hope to hear from you. good luck

Try Cocaine anonymous(CA). It's in the phone book and I'm sure there's some in your area.

my situation is so simalar to yours,im addicted to cocaine i use 4 days a week,i have 2 children,9,12...im also scared to get help in case they take my kids away,i just want u to know that i understand and i know how hard it is,i just want to send u hugs and support,i hope you can get the help i really do...love porsha