Cocaine Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Cocaine addiction is the excessive intake of cocaine, and can result in physiological damage, lethargy, depression, or a potentially fatal overdose. Though the immediate craving to do more cocaine is strong and very common, this feeling usually subsides in most users within an hour. This craving can, as it has in many users, develop rather quickly into an intense...
Hello.
I live in NYC & my bf of 10 months lives in Fl. We met online last year and instantly fell for each other. We see each other once a month for a week at a time. It's hard to be in a long distance relationship but I'd rather be with him than any other man because of our connection.
Two weeks ago I was scheduled to see him. The day before I was scheduled to fly down,, he didn't answer the phone or return my texts until 3am. It was Thurs & his payday. This had happened many times before on his pay week. I scheduled my flight to fly out on his pay week so that I could see for myself what was going on. We'd talk 15-20 times p/day & would txt all day until we both went to bed but on a pay week, he's txt or call until 10am then nothing for the next 9 hours. When I asked what was going on, he'd say he was tired & was sleeping. But I knew he was lying because my gut told me something was wrong. I knew it was either drugs, another woman or both. Hes consistent with his inconsistencies.
The morning of my flight, he admitted that he's a coke user after I threatened to break up with him & that I wouldn't come down to see him. He cried & told me that there isn't another woman, only coke & that he would rather do coke than eat. It broke my heart. Instead of running away, I got on the plane to see him & we had a wonderful week together. He vowed not to do coke again & to get help for it.
However, yesterday was payday again & the same habit are alive all over again. I didn't hear from him as often and when I called, his phone rang but the I got his VM. When I spoke to him this morning, he said his phone must have fallen out of his pocket because it was in the car. He spoke with me until 10am this morn & said he was very tired and would call me after his nap. He's a delivery person and works from 3am - noon, 1 or 2 pm so his days are long. But he gets off early only on pay week, which is every other week.
I'm frustrated and have considered hiring a Private Investigator so that I can find out what's really going on. I know it's coke but what else could it be? Coke is bad enough. We clicked and are considering marriage. I'm moving to Fl in June. But I can't until he gets it together, I'm willing to help but to what extent? Am I strong enough and is he worth it? I have a 5 year old son & I have to put him first.
This man is brilliant! I feel instant;y in love with him. It's very sad he's wasting his life with drugs. I want to believe that he will change & I know it won't happen overnight but I can't be his crutch but I want to be there. He has told me that he'd die without me, thanked me forI believing in him when he didn't believe in himself, wants a family with me & if he should ever die, he'd wants me to know I was the best thing that happened to him. He has also said that he's very sad inside and very depressed.
How can I help him from NY? He's in Fl and alone. He has friends but no family. I'm heartbroken.
I live in NYC & my bf of 10 months lives in Fl. We met online last year and instantly fell for each other. We see each other once a month for a week at a time. It's hard to be in a long distance relationship but I'd rather be with him than any other man because of our connection.
Two weeks ago I was scheduled to see him. The day before I was scheduled to fly down,, he didn't answer the phone or return my texts until 3am. It was Thurs & his payday. This had happened many times before on his pay week. I scheduled my flight to fly out on his pay week so that I could see for myself what was going on. We'd talk 15-20 times p/day & would txt all day until we both went to bed but on a pay week, he's txt or call until 10am then nothing for the next 9 hours. When I asked what was going on, he'd say he was tired & was sleeping. But I knew he was lying because my gut told me something was wrong. I knew it was either drugs, another woman or both. Hes consistent with his inconsistencies.
The morning of my flight, he admitted that he's a coke user after I threatened to break up with him & that I wouldn't come down to see him. He cried & told me that there isn't another woman, only coke & that he would rather do coke than eat. It broke my heart. Instead of running away, I got on the plane to see him & we had a wonderful week together. He vowed not to do coke again & to get help for it.
However, yesterday was payday again & the same habit are alive all over again. I didn't hear from him as often and when I called, his phone rang but the I got his VM. When I spoke to him this morning, he said his phone must have fallen out of his pocket because it was in the car. He spoke with me until 10am this morn & said he was very tired and would call me after his nap. He's a delivery person and works from 3am - noon, 1 or 2 pm so his days are long. But he gets off early only on pay week, which is every other week.
I'm frustrated and have considered hiring a Private Investigator so that I can find out what's really going on. I know it's coke but what else could it be? Coke is bad enough. We clicked and are considering marriage. I'm moving to Fl in June. But I can't until he gets it together, I'm willing to help but to what extent? Am I strong enough and is he worth it? I have a 5 year old son & I have to put him first.
This man is brilliant! I feel instant;y in love with him. It's very sad he's wasting his life with drugs. I want to believe that he will change & I know it won't happen overnight but I can't be his crutch but I want to be there. He has told me that he'd die without me, thanked me forI believing in him when he didn't believe in himself, wants a family with me & if he should ever die, he'd wants me to know I was the best thing that happened to him. He has also said that he's very sad inside and very depressed.
How can I help him from NY? He's in Fl and alone. He has friends but no family. I'm heartbroken.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
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My son is 23 and has been an addict since the age of fifteen. I am an addict in recovery and know all too well the blackness he is in. I am 4 years 7 months clean and now have a front row seat to his hell. I wait for a window of opportunity to throw him a life line. I know my throw might be off. I know that even with the perfect toss he may not have the strength to grab on.I know there is nothing I can say if his ears have been closed. I know this world he lives in. I fucking hate addiction. I hate how It eats us, how It pretends to be us, how It holds us bound, chained, trapped, and sedated. How It even has Its own host deceived. I swear there is no greater evil on earth. Addictions perfect victim, being a searching soul, not yet firmly rooted. Addiction knows Its only weakness is the power held within a soul that is on fire. Non-addicts are oblivious to what It is, or how It hovers over them, waiting for Its chance to devour them too. They are clueless to the clone that was once their loved One. It takes the body, slowly suffocating the spirit within. It steals any spark that once danced behind the blackened eyes It has replaced. Even when we rid ourselves of it, we are never safe. We are forever guarded, checking, and the preferred victims to this filth. That moment, when I found the strength to take back my life, has been my greatest victory! Just thinking of how broken I was, how badly I wanted to stop, and I F*C#ING COULDN'T! Remembering this pain, my heart bleeds, my soul aches. Knowing It. Knowing how It lived in me. Knowing all I do about addiction and knowing I escaped. Knowing there is only one power greater then the grip of addiction does nothing to help my Son! None of this matters. I am still powerless to addiction. I am still powerless to help my Son. I am still held by It's evil, as It snarls at me. As It says, "F#*K you Bitch!" As It takes my Son. As It takes my Son and It makes me watch.
You can't,it won't and nothing anyone says or does will.
Before you pack your bags,child and best wishes off to Florida,know that this is only the beginning.
Addiction is much bigger than you,him and even love.Moving forward into disaster is all this is.
I've got to add that I trolled for women as gullible as you.Thank God I never put children in harms way,but I have known some that did and read some horrific accounts of what people did to their own children for money for drugs.
We recovering addicts have a saying,a summation, for what we know of our disease and the active addict.
Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see.
I know the best thing to do is to leave him & I have decided after 3 days of blocking his calls that it's best that I do. It's difficult because I do love him but I love me & my son more. I don't want to sound like a bad person but I don't want him to pull me down. I have a great career as a fashion/graphic designer, great friends & family & his issues will only hurt what I have. I'm not a bad person...I don't look down on people or thing I'm better than people but I don't want to be hurt or put my son through crap which should be the best time of his life...childhood. I feel empathetic to him but I can not watch him destroy himself. I can be there as a friend but I know that he isn't ready for a relationship at this time & he has a disease that is first over everything in his life.
I did send him some info re: support hotlines this weekend before I went silent. He has said nothing about them & honestly, I doubt if he'll call. He texts & leaves vms many times a day pleading his case that he wants to be with me & he loves me but he needs help other than me. I'm only the support system.
He refuses to address things that has happened in his childhood & until he does, the healing won't begin.
Thanks for your honesty.
Of course you cannot turn off your feelings,if it helps an active addict can.
We can be manipulative,tread light on his communications.Reasonably,there might be a great guy inside the addict.Still,the only person who can shed that shell is the person wearing it..There is a fair amount of work involved in that,independence accels that process for most of us.
Resembling the harbinger of bad news,I only wish to help,even if that help may not be recognized in the future.
Do something nice for yourself each day,it will help mend your feelings.