My experience:
My children love me because they are powerless to do otherwise.All I can give them is me.I've come to find that's all they want.
Other stories vary,some to places that make me pray with tears.
Screw guilt.That's just another avenue your disease takes to try to reclaim you.
Start where you stand.You can give them today.

We, addicts, that are parents carry around a huge amount of guilt for the things that we have done to our children. I completely understand.
My poor daughter and the things that she has been through and seen but I got lucky. I finally cleaned up right before her 6th birthday and so there are alot of things that she doesn't remember but she still acts like she did when I was getting high. She can not tolerate locked doors either in the bedroom or the bathroom. If I come home and have smoke on my clothes, she gets really weird looking because I don't smoke but one of the ladies that I work with does.

I know that deep in my heart that God sent my daughter to save me. It took a while but eventually it did. It was the threat of having Child Protective take my daughter away because I landed in jail, that was my bottom. I said this is not worth it. Its not worth my daughter's tears and look when you leave, like they are never going to see you again. I hated that look. God and my daughter gave me my life back. She made it ok to laugh at myself and not take myself too seriously. She loved me with unconditional, something I had search a lifetime for.

I have used my past life as a talking tool with my daughter. It has made the "drug and alcohol" speech much easier. She is so totally against it and I pray everyday that she stays that way.

I wish you the best of luck with your recovery and your children. Stay the course and watch miracles happen.

well i dont have any kids..but i am a child of a alcoholic mother and father.i dont know if they did drugs or not.they were always trying to be so 'good' to me when they were there..but that was when they were there..not when they should have been there..like at night when i'd be scared or wondered if they were coming back..long story short i begin to drink with my mom openly and do lines of coke at 17..i was a full blown addict and alcoholic by time i was 18..they both died by time i was barely 20.i never got to see them get clean they died in the disease..did that teach me to stop no!...i wish they could have 'showed me'..

How to stop the cycle of insanity that is drug and alcohol addiction. I am moved by Lisa's comment, growing up with alcoholic parents and the message she took on. Yet I read in everyone of her posts hope and faith that the God she has recognized and invited in her life helps her find peace and purpose, helps her forgive and move on, so she can experience all of lifes gifts. Don't know how I slipped into addiction, I had an "Ozzie and Harriet" upbringing, so I am in awe of God's healing power, no matter the baggage life puts on us to carry and discard, He shows us the path to serenity, peace and wholeness. This what what I found in Cocaine, but it was a lie, thankfully I had that moment of clarity that allowed me to seek another path...I sit here this morning is deep gratitude for the pain cocaine caused me, since it took me to such a low spot I was willing to discard all my screwed up beliefs and embrace God's path. I will hold on to this gratitude, I feel to my soul it's truth. I offer this hope to all, it is there to heal.

I had 3 children. My oldest Max died in a car accident at the age of 21. My daughter is 17 and my youngest is 16. I had such a horrible argument with them yesterday after church. I sent them to their dad's house because I am so tired of their negativity when I am trying to stay positive. I have 6 days clean today from crack. Even if I am clean they know what buttons to push. Believe me I'm hard enough on myself. I just hope our relationship gets BETTER. Right now the roller coaster ride is unbearable. Well just thought I share on your subject KIDS! I sure do miss my MAX.

Take care

i just wanted to add that im glad youre here,tina..im very moved reading youre post..losing a child is hard..but we always keep them in heart and spirit..i want to congratulate on youre choice to get clean..and i wish you well..and im also glad youre here..