It's hard to believe that it's been a little over a year since my last line. I was introduced to coke by my ex bf when I was 20 yrs old. I was the goodie goodie that only drank and smoked weed and he was a recovering meth addict. I didn't stop doing coke until I was 23 and the only reason I stoped was because I found out I was pregnant. I had been married for 2 months and known my husband for 2 years and he had no clue how deep I was. While we were dating I had my own place so using was very easy and so was hiding it. I hit rock bottom, to the point where I wanted to kill myself cause I thought that was my only way out of it. Everyone I knew except my husband was doing coke and I couldn't go to him for help cause I was so ashamed. When we got married I had stoped for about a month, then started hanging out with an old friend that did it. I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant and took the steps I needed to ensure my daughter would be healthy. I eventually told my husband and he's been my backbone for the past year. My daughter is now 6 months old and very healthy. I like to think that she saved my life. I still struggle day to day with cravings. I have nightmares and obsessive thoughts about doing it just one more time. I sometimes find myself fighting with my own mind. It tells me that it's okay to slip up and one more time wont hurt. But I know better. And all I have to do is look at my daughters smiling face and that gives me all the support I need. If anyone needs to talk or needs support, I'm here for you cause I know how hard it can be.
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