It's hard to believe that it's been a little over a year since my last line. I was introduced to coke by my ex bf when I was 20 yrs old. I was the goodie goodie that only drank and smoked weed and he was a recovering meth addict. I didn't stop doing coke until I was 23 and the only reason I stoped was because I found out I was pregnant. I had been married for 2 months and known my husband for 2 years and he had no clue how deep I was. While we were dating I had my own place so using was very easy and so was hiding it. I hit rock bottom, to the point where I wanted to kill myself cause I thought that was my only way out of it. Everyone I knew except my husband was doing coke and I couldn't go to him for help cause I was so ashamed. When we got married I had stoped for about a month, then started hanging out with an old friend that did it. I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant and took the steps I needed to ensure my daughter would be healthy. I eventually told my husband and he's been my backbone for the past year. My daughter is now 6 months old and very healthy. I like to think that she saved my life. I still struggle day to day with cravings. I have nightmares and obsessive thoughts about doing it just one more time. I sometimes find myself fighting with my own mind. It tells me that it's okay to slip up and one more time wont hurt. But I know better. And all I have to do is look at my daughters smiling face and that gives me all the support I need. If anyone needs to talk or needs support, I'm here for you cause I know how hard it can be.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...