And today I hate myself. Can't believe or understand why I allowed the cravings to overtake me. I've prayed each day, humbled myself, believed that I could make it this time......why did I do it? I feel like a hypocrit.....suggesting to others how to stay clean, and can't myself. I'm a failure and I again, let the crack cocaine overpower me. I am thankful that I didn't soar out to a several day binge, but the fact is I used, and it makes me feel like crap. I thought I was doing everything right.....then here it was, put face to face with me, and I didn't walk away. I didn't enjoy it, got no thrill from it, felt guilty as hell while smoking it....I just don't understand. Well I do, I just didn't think. I could come up with crappy excuses for why I did it.......but I do know none of them or true. It was up to me, and I failed the test.
Posts You May Be Interested In
My dad died 3 weeks ago, and it was the most earth shattering thing that's ever happened to me. I drank more often than i care to admit, and i did cocain as often as i could. honestly? it's fun as shit. but now, i've done it every day since my dad passed, and whether or not it's good for you, i'm still wondering if it's happening because i'm dealing with a death in my life, or because i'm dealing...
I was born and raised in lonodn and alot of kids in my area would do drugs for what seems like fun from the outside but they had a reason.they would do drugs due to stress, family fights, or jealouslyI come from a respectable family and some of my friend didnt even have £5 to go out on the weekends, and they saw that my parents would give me some money to spend on the weekend and this shocked...