And today I hate myself. Can't believe or understand why I allowed the cravings to overtake me. I've prayed each day, humbled myself, believed that I could make it this time......why did I do it? I feel like a hypocrit.....suggesting to others how to stay clean, and can't myself. I'm a failure and I again, let the crack cocaine overpower me. I am thankful that I didn't soar out to a several day binge, but the fact is I used, and it makes me feel like crap. I thought I was doing everything right.....then here it was, put face to face with me, and I didn't walk away. I didn't enjoy it, got no thrill from it, felt guilty as hell while smoking it....I just don't understand. Well I do, I just didn't think. I could come up with crappy excuses for why I did it.......but I do know none of them or true. It was up to me, and I failed the test.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...