relapses are like a dime a dozen now. my addiction does not care about who i hurt, myself and my loved ones. my parents took me in, and are doing everything humanly possible to not even allow me to get crack.. hiding car keys, not going out without supervision. I may not even have cravings for weeks at at a time, but as soon as my addiction sees a possiblity to score, its like "ahh just take 20$, you never know" and of course even if i had no intention, i woujld go cop. its almost like because im on house arrest, and cant go out unsupervised.. that my addiction lies in wait, and the instant they lemme have a car to myself my addiction takes over... several times i've cried all the way to the set, yet unable to turn the steering wheel to go home. Its THE most helpless feeling i have ever experienced. and i hope nobody should ever have to experience this. startin over.. again
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