well i wanted to share something that happened to me early this morning..i've been doing so well feeling so strong and positive that when this happened this morning i realized this disease is really f'ed up..i was feeding my kitties and the bag busted and i was trying not to get the food everywhere when i found myself feeling like i was dealing with a bag of coke..the experience was so powerful it made me sick to my stomach..i felt like i was back there in my sickness carefully not trying to drop any....sick huh?...this is so cunning...out of nowhere...i have no desire to use the idea makes me sick it just i felt soo ashamed..its like i was reminded who i use to be and how pathetic i was...i just realized even more how pathetic the thinking the mindset of what i use to value and treasure so much was garbage..im just saying i am so thankful thats not me today..maybe its the god of my understanding letting me know from which i had come i dont ever go back or maybe its the nature of the disease...has anyone else had this sneek out of nowhere?...im feeling also it could be some post trauma type thing??..anyways thanks 4 letting me share..
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