..my first few weeks clean was a very big question for myself and others close to me..is this a brief reprieve or will this stick..i didnt want to run the streets but i wanted to hold on to the feelings of alcohol..the madness and excitement of a crack infested neighborhood and the drama of running my relationship in the ground..the first days the jury was out and each day i got on this blog i didnt know whether that day counter would advance or would u see me dissappear...even though crack was gone..i really wanted to drinkl a beer because thats what harold could do years a go...before crack ever was an issue..days went by and i just kept moving forward..i dont ahve to be scared of the urges..the insecurities..the doubts and i dont have to keep it a secret....i do not know how tommorow will play out but i am always ready to stand up god willing and face it..i dont have to give my choice to use or not use away to an emotion anymore...
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