i personally dont! i like to think that nothing is set in stone and i have the ability to change and hope that the future is a bright one! sometimes that is really difficult and all you can see is blackness, but im on a positive mission well trying anyway, so im on my 2nd day sober coz i decided to give it another shot and so i took the advice of plan your weekend and stay busy which i thought was wise. in the past ive always gone, im feeling good, im strong i can say no! i can do it! but that really doesnt work does it, so this weekend i was like no im not going out, im staying in writing a essay for uni, doing lots of reading, going to spin some poi. Now ive never lived in halls of residence before at uni but i was made homeless and i moved in a couple of weeks ago, i see this guy this morning and he goes oh hi you live right next to me dont you? and im like yes and he says just to let you know im having a party i hope you dont mind you should come! its like yeh meet new people in my new home but they are students so of course they are going to be partying and i think geez is this just fate? but i remember i dont believe in that, and usually i would go what is the point, its just going to be everywhere, but as soon as i found out i thought this is dangerous teritory, rang up my mother in law fancy a study session so im out of the house tonight and hopefully in a better environment, but its just so typical isnt it! i think i need to find one place that i can escape to that is totally drug and drink free, which im finding difficult!
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