I've been clean since April, but I can't keep my mind clear. Lately I feel like nothing is worth the fight. Things are oddly enough going ok, kinda stressful, but ok. I've been trying to avoid the thoughts by drinking a little, which doesn't help. Don't know what else to do. None of my friends know what I'm thinking about doing (they are all clean and very much against everything). My husband is also clean, but wants to keep me happy so he says that if I want it to get it (he used to use, but not very much). He knows I have issues, but he wants to keep me happy, but i'm miserable. I've explained this to him, but he just doesn't get it. I just want it to all go away!
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