Cocaine Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Cocaine addiction is the excessive intake of cocaine, and can result in physiological damage, lethargy, depression, or a potentially fatal overdose. Though the immediate craving to do more cocaine is strong and very common, this feeling usually subsides in most users within an hour. This craving can, as it has in many users, develop rather quickly into an intense...
I'm sorry this is a bit lengthy , any input will be greatly appreciated ....
My relationship of 4 yrs , within live in DF , with whom I have an 18 month old little girl has ended recently .
A brief background of his addiction . He started drinking when 9 . He moved to pot , then in highschool started abusing pain pills , mushrooms , and then i think it was his junior year of highschool gotten into cocaine and heroin . First snorting then progressed into shooting . He dried out due to crumbling at work and having to be picked up and brought to a rehab center in his early 20's .
Went on methadone , then went back to heroin , and pain pills ( snorting /shooting .... mostly shooting )
When I met him he was 24 and a pacing , drewling , nodding off , paranoid , mess. I thought he had hyperactivity disorder .
I found out a few months into dating him what he was really into .
The first two years I was with him he was still using street drugs daily , uppers and downers , whatever he needed to be at the moment .
Then the 3d year he went on a methadone maintainence program and was on 155 mgs . And was still messed up everyday . had several relapses that I knew of ( and most likely alot more that I didn'tknow about ) .
Last fall at 27 yrs old he went into intreatment rehab . He wanted to get off the methadone . They had weaned him down , and he needed to dry out completely . They only kept him intreatment for 2 wks and put him on suboxone , and then let him out and he did a day program for the remaining 2 wks .
Within a month of coming out of rehab he was already back into crap . doing coke and drnking .
We split for a month .
Over the winter ( Oct- recently )he began drinking often and heavily , pretty much daily .
He again had more cocaine relapses as well as admitting to some percocet abuse .
THeres the abuse history .
Now we are split again due to his use . Been split up for 8 wks . On and off again , mostly off .
He tells me he is done , but is still showing alot of the same addict behaviours . Refuses to get into a program, doesn't read help books , or go to a therapist, doesn't go online to support groups etc...
He wants to spend time with our daughter ,but i refuse to allow him to take her, and am finding it almost impossible to spend time with him for supervised visitation. The more time away from him i spend , and the more I learn about codependency, the more severely dysfunctional and abusive I see being around him .
My questions are this :
1. Am I wrong for thinking he should be getting help if he wants to spend time with our child ?
2. Recently he keeps mentioning getting dental work done. I asked him if he is going to inform his dental surgeon of his opiate abuse and pass up the medication . He said eff you , and he will need pain meds . I thought that ex addicts shouldn't be prescribed pain meds like this ? Any thoughts on this ? If he were truly being sober wouldn't he be refusing a prescription for pain meds ?
3. Do you think without help or working a program he is going to have success at soberity ? He makes me feel l ike I am crazy for not trusting him . I just can't see how anything is going to change without him being actively involved in the steps of recovery .
Opinions please, I am a worried mom , I am being made to feel like I am rotten for not wanting him as an influence in our daughters life . I just don't feel like he is safe or healthy enough . ..
My relationship of 4 yrs , within live in DF , with whom I have an 18 month old little girl has ended recently .
A brief background of his addiction . He started drinking when 9 . He moved to pot , then in highschool started abusing pain pills , mushrooms , and then i think it was his junior year of highschool gotten into cocaine and heroin . First snorting then progressed into shooting . He dried out due to crumbling at work and having to be picked up and brought to a rehab center in his early 20's .
Went on methadone , then went back to heroin , and pain pills ( snorting /shooting .... mostly shooting )
When I met him he was 24 and a pacing , drewling , nodding off , paranoid , mess. I thought he had hyperactivity disorder .
I found out a few months into dating him what he was really into .
The first two years I was with him he was still using street drugs daily , uppers and downers , whatever he needed to be at the moment .
Then the 3d year he went on a methadone maintainence program and was on 155 mgs . And was still messed up everyday . had several relapses that I knew of ( and most likely alot more that I didn'tknow about ) .
Last fall at 27 yrs old he went into intreatment rehab . He wanted to get off the methadone . They had weaned him down , and he needed to dry out completely . They only kept him intreatment for 2 wks and put him on suboxone , and then let him out and he did a day program for the remaining 2 wks .
Within a month of coming out of rehab he was already back into crap . doing coke and drnking .
We split for a month .
Over the winter ( Oct- recently )he began drinking often and heavily , pretty much daily .
He again had more cocaine relapses as well as admitting to some percocet abuse .
THeres the abuse history .
Now we are split again due to his use . Been split up for 8 wks . On and off again , mostly off .
He tells me he is done , but is still showing alot of the same addict behaviours . Refuses to get into a program, doesn't read help books , or go to a therapist, doesn't go online to support groups etc...
He wants to spend time with our daughter ,but i refuse to allow him to take her, and am finding it almost impossible to spend time with him for supervised visitation. The more time away from him i spend , and the more I learn about codependency, the more severely dysfunctional and abusive I see being around him .
My questions are this :
1. Am I wrong for thinking he should be getting help if he wants to spend time with our child ?
2. Recently he keeps mentioning getting dental work done. I asked him if he is going to inform his dental surgeon of his opiate abuse and pass up the medication . He said eff you , and he will need pain meds . I thought that ex addicts shouldn't be prescribed pain meds like this ? Any thoughts on this ? If he were truly being sober wouldn't he be refusing a prescription for pain meds ?
3. Do you think without help or working a program he is going to have success at soberity ? He makes me feel l ike I am crazy for not trusting him . I just can't see how anything is going to change without him being actively involved in the steps of recovery .
Opinions please, I am a worried mom , I am being made to feel like I am rotten for not wanting him as an influence in our daughters life . I just don't feel like he is safe or healthy enough . ..
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
No you are not wrong. I think you are on the right path. The rest is up to him. He needs to know you can not deal with his addiction. He needs to take steps to show he is commited to getting better. It is not what an addict says that shows they are trying to stay clean, it is what the show in their actions. His words are empty if he has no actions to back up his desire. Hang in there hopefully he will thank you one day!
As far as pain meds go, I am in chronic pain. I am on percocets for this and I am a addict with 4 years clean. Addicts that need pain meds should be allowed to have them. If they feel that there is an element of abuse how someone close to him monitor his use of them. I, was very honest with my pain doctor. He knows Im an addict. I feel if your BF has to go to the dentist he needs to the dentist of his addiction, especially coke and the pain meds. The coke because his tolerance level is prolly really high and the lidocaine that they need to numb may not be enough also the same with the pain meds.
As far as your child goes, you are the mother and if feel that your child will not be properly cared for while with him, then you have a right to protect your child. Just remember that your child can feel the tension between the two of you and that is not healthy for anybody.
Please take care and if I can help you, please feel free to message me.
I want to say I knwo how you feel I am in the same situation with my BF. But girl, do what in your heart and know that you may the best decision. I really enjoy the other comments on here "Never trust an addict" and an "Addict is an Addict". You know it is so sad that People become Addicts - I hate labels and I don't like using them, but sometimes saying it helps releases te truth within yourself in which better helps you to cope and move forward in life and not backward. You will survive and will make it. You have the tools to overall all barriers.