Hello everyone. I just can't go into how broken i've become. Once again i'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or just more prayer because hope is running from me and my legs are becoming too weak to catch up with it. My beloved was about to be sent home with home nursing care when yet another bleed occured. Rectal varices. Even typing those two words is difficult. There is no banding, cauterizing, stitching...anything to remedy this. I was told that there is some kind of surgical glue that is not available in this country ofcourse. He is again in renal failure now and is on 24/7 dialysis. He appeared to be fine on friday. He told me to go home and do something for myself, get some sleep, and be back early in the morning for a game of monopoly. 35 minutes down the road we receieved the call stating that he was found unconcious and that his BP was dropping as fast as it could so they transferred him back to the ICU. The only way to stop the bleed was by the use of a foley(balloon) catheter and these are only meant to be used for 24 hours or rectal necrosis is to follow. He has had it now for six days. Meanwhile his other numbers are recovering, enzymes are the lowest they have ever been so is bilirubin, creatinine is a bit high but trnding downward and the bun is almost normal again. INR ofcourse is higher than normal and any platelets that he is given they say do not last long enough to do any good. IR department will not do a TIPS for fear that he would die on the table. He is too weak for transplant even if I had a new liver for him. Lost can not describe how I feel and the Miracle doesn't seem to be a good enough word for what we need. If only he could become stong enough to come home and at least feel that comfort one more time I would gladly take him. I've had to fight every doctor, many nurses and don't even get me started on the money/insurance issues. Mistakes were made! He was taken off of rifaxamin one day before he was to go home the last time and was sent back to acute care after having an HE episode. I check his meds list and labs every day. I noticed that the medicine that he so badly needed wasn't list and waited for seven hours to talk to a GI doctor who never did answer me about why that decision was made. I don't mean to lay it all on you all, but I think you might be the only people in the world who understand my pain and frustration. If there is some form of salvation left for him other than leaving this sick world behind I humbly ask that you pray for this for us tonight. My love and prayers to all of you.
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