Sorry, I'm a hot mess. I got the call Monday, not Friday.

Is she still at the hospital?
Without knowing her blood test results, it is impossible to know how far along in her disease she is.
Does she have a power of attorney?
It would be important to convince her to get one, so that when she is in a situation where she can't communicate herself, or not thinking straight, someone else will be able to know what it is going on.
Sorry I could not be more helpful.

Thanks, she got the boot from the hospital once they found out she was an alcoholic and her vitals were stable. My mom was her spokes person but they are both in complete denial. I can't get straight answers and my aunt isn't willing to get help....or even acknowledge there is a problem. I begged my mom to let me set up a follow up appt with a doc and I will pay for it, but NO! My aunt lives alone in a studio apt. I would stay with her but I have two toddlers. My mom has to go back home by Friday. I feel like I cant leave. I'm terrified she is going to die and that I will be leaving her to die alone. I feel so sick.

Oh shit hun, I know2 that feeling of powerlessness only too well! It definitely sounds like she is still boozing. At her age, unless she had a viral hepatitis infection, makes no sense for her to have the jaundice. The fact is that she is an addict, and cannot live without the booze.

The bad thing is that if indeed it is cirrhosis, the liver damage is irreparable. HOWEVER, if it is a FATTY LIVER, that CAN heal itself. Try to find out what it is.

In any case, all of the symptoms you describe do point to liver damage.

Typically, close family of alcoholics are going to be in serious denial. You need to have a heart-to-heart with your mom, and tell her what you think. Maybe even tell her that if her sister dies, you will hold HER accountable, as the death may have been prevented. Also, tell her that you will call social services on the 17 year old cousin. H cannot fend for himself! He needs his mom!

I would also talk with the son. Yo might be surprised about how much he knows. Somebody should be talking to him. Maybe it should be you. If nobody discusses the shit going on with him, then he may be fucked up 4ever, esp. if she does die.

Often, alcoholics have underlying problems, like say, depression.Life is too painful to live, so they turn to the bottle. Your aunt needs therapy for depression, detox, and ideally help in the form of meds to help her beat this addiction.Homeopathy is all fine and dandy, but for her own protection, she should be LOCKED UP. Commit her if necessary, as being unable to take care of her affairs, or something.

I would suggest you contact Al-Anon, to see if they can give you any pointers. Get her son to contact Al-A-teen.

A good dose of prayer may help too! Best of luck!

So sorry you are in this position. I sure wish your mom had the same concern you seem to have. I am not saying that holistic treatments are bad but I think that your Mom needs to be able to push your Aunt into some kind of treatment or something ...... her symptoms sound like she needs treatment ......... If your Aunt would ever need a liver transplant she must be free of drinking for I think it is something like 6 months (since they have it on her records now.) Sorry I wish I could help but I need to tell you that you are an amazing niece because it is obvious how much you care! And remember there are some folks that just don't want help and cannot be forced into it.
Stay in touch! I will add you to my prayer list.
Warmest Regards,
JJ

thanks everyone, your input is invaluable. Im really having a terrible time with this. With the info that has been told to me, the research that I have done since yesterday and my own observation, I am pretty positive it is Cirrhosis of the liver. When I saw her in the hospital, she looked as if she had died the day before but someone forgot to tell her. I have never met a more independent, bull-headed, stubborn, yet wonderful woman in my life. I have never had a loss in my life due to death. We are an extremely small family and she is my only aunt. My daughter is named after her. Her son is living with his father, her ex. Same city. I have no idea where the kid is, he has free reign. He may correspond with his parents maybe once a day, via text. I dont know how to get a hold of him but I am going to try and track him down. I may be stepping over my bounds here, but I am devestated....I can only imagine how he will feel once he grasps what is happening to his mother.

I love my mother, but I know her faults too. She isnt equipped to handle this and she has proven to be an enabler in this situation. I have begged, bribed, educated and bullied my mom into discussing and understanding the big picture here. I think deep down she knows but is unwilling to admit, acknowledge and deal. When I told my mom that what was happening was liver failure, her reply was, " well....I think it was just dehydration, she will get better".

My Aunt has lived a very unconventional life, that has contributed to her stress and I'm sure, depression. She does need treatment. I just dont know how to make her get it. I am also worried that it will be too late. She was on the liver list before, when she reported that her liver had healed itself. That was over four years ago. She had not been seeking medical attention this whole time. She said she was, but she wasnt. They said they were going to put her on the liver list again, when she went in monday but once they found the alcohol in her system, they took her off and kicked her out the door. I cant blame them. She wasnt even following the rules in the hospital. Everyone was frustrated with her, nurses included. I would give her a part of my liver in a heart beat, but not if she is continuing not to care for herself. I cant do that.

Im so sorry everyone, I sound like a broken record. Im just in such a panic. I need answers, a plan, a time frame, something! I know its not that simple. Oh yeah! My mom said the doctor at the hospital threatened to take her drivers license away because of the alcohol induced seizure she had, and my mom said that was HARSH! DO IT, take it AWAY!!! She could KILL someone!!! THis woman couldnt even put her key in the door, and you think its ok for her to drive a standard car?!?!?! OMG

First things first: you are an amazing neice who obviously cares a great deal for your aunt. Second thing, you can not MAKE your aunt do something that she is not willing to do. You can not make your mom do something she is not willing to do. Carrying this burden on yourself is not fair to you. I understand your wanting to help, and your frustration with the situation, but you can not take the blame.

It does sound as if you aunt has cirrhosis, and it sounds as if her liver has started to decompensate. That means it is losing function. The confusion may have been from the alcohol or it may have been from HE. It sounds as if she has ascites (the swelling in the belly) and edema, which are two strong indications of cirrhosis. Since she has tested positive for alcohol, she will not be considered for a transplant unless she has 6 months DOCUMENTED sobriety.

If your aunt will not take the steps necessary to help herself, there is nothing you can do. Playing the blame game willl not do anyone any good. The son does need to know, maybe the ex can help with that. Your family needs you too. I am not a preachy person, but have learned that the power of prayer is amazing. I will keep you and your family in my prayers, and hope that things get better for all concerned.

Thank you for your kind words and support. I got a refered to a website called livingwithliverdisease.spurz.com and found Craig. From other posts here, he seems to be very respected and informed. I have found a light in the dark and a direction. I also understand that it may be too late or even a shot in the dark, but I have somewhere to go from here and for that, I am so very thankful. I am setting up an intervention this saturday that will include me, my youngest sister, my mom, aunts ex and son. We can tell her we would all like her to go to rehab, I hope she agrees. I know she may not, and although I will be sad, I know I tried to help and there is nothing more I can do. I no longer feel helpless and lost. No matter what transpires, I know it will be a hard journey but now I have my battle gear on. I cant say thank you enough for helping me through my crisis panic.

Craig is very helpful. but if you aunt does not help herself, there is nothing you can do.
Good luck!