every day i turn on my puter and think after reading all your posts,,today i will post ,,i will post today but some how i cannot bring myself to do it,,,,i know i should.i am having so much trouble with this phase i am goin thru ,,i have started takin the prozac as perscribed and it it causeing me no end of problems, can't sleep now and restless limb syndrom,,my mind wanders ,,i just don't feel connected to anyting any more,,now i know this is not me so i am tryin to find me or fix it ,,but i am not sure where it was that i lost it,,,

i have had a very strange life and it seems some of those things these memoreis seem to be resurfaceing more and more latley ,,things that i had thought were forgotten,some things i honestly didn't rememeber ,,of course when i was young i was a master of supression i was quite proud of it actually that i was able to do that and get on with my life so easy i thought and now it seems to be bittin me in the ass..a sound a scent and i start flashin to things that were done to me back when i was married that i don't want to know or remember,,i go and see a doctor tomorrow to see where we need to go with this ,,,he thinks i have post traumatic stress disorder,,to me it's just a fancy name for being fucked up,,but that is what is happening to me right at the moment..

i wanted ya'll to know and understand that i have not left the group,and i do still read the posts,,my contribution would be for shit right now,,with what i am goin thru right now i could deliver nothng positive as far as feed back is concerned ,,not with feelin any way..i love ya'll and i miss ya'll