today I didn't want get out of bed. I woke up with no grandkids (they went to the zoo with their aunt) and couldn't find any good reason to get out of bed, My back, left hip and left leg were basically on fire and I got up long enough to get a glass of juice, take a pain pill and crawl back into my bed. I really didn't sleep b/c my mind was spinning in 100 different directions, but I cried. Alot. Sometimes a good cry does wonders for the soul. About 2pm I finally got out of bed and into a shower. My anger seems to be gone for the moment. Its mostly sadness now. I still don't understand how someone with two beautiful children (pics are on my profile..Sammy and Emma) could let this happen. I understand wanting sex, hell I love sex when I'm not in too much pain, but sex isn't worth the price that my daughter is paying now that she has HIV. If she wasn't already so ill, I wouldn't be so worried, but her health was already terrible. Hell, now I will certainly be raising the children up until they are grown (whatever age that might be). Yeah I'll only be about 60 when they finish high school, but I truly thought one day she would get her life together and go back to being mom and then I could go back to being the spoiling mam-maw that is my favorite person to be. I know its my job to be here for these grandbabies, but my pain is already so bad that I can't help but wonder where I'm gonna be pain wise in a few years. I've raised 12 kids in my life already (adopted and birthed) and I was kinda looking forward to a break. Does that make me a bad grandmother? I would never turn my back on these children but I just wonder why the Lord believes I need to do it all over again. Well, I think its time for me to say goodnight....it hurts too much for me to continue sitting here. Hugs and best wishes everyone!
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good morning sunshines,i hope all your mother's day was enjoyable. and thanks for the birthday wishes on saturday. i knew we were in for a big time and it certainly was -- non-stop in the most delightful way. i'll post some pictures later today.it is so beautiful where my sister lives - so serene and lush green surrounding by small mountains. there's a nice back porch and yard with lots of room...
Hopes up for a great day or a complete weekend that's been full of loving memories!Happy for our birthday girls that you've had those joyous days that everyone wish for you! Looking forward to hearing and seeing your birthday pictures Serenity.Made some stew I'm going to take to my folks for their supper, I'll eat before I go. They don't eat lunch and eat supper very early.Peace love harmony xoxo