Ok..I need help. To make a long story short, 3.5 yrs ago I was an active healthy productive women and mother of three. I made alot more money than my husband and keep us up as well as i could. I had a bad pregnacy with #3. Thats when it all started. My back went out and he and I agreed I need sometime to rest. I had surgery #1 and he went to Iraq to do cilvilan work to make the 2 incomes in one. Over the 1rst yr my back totally went on me. Instead of one bad disk I now had 4 bad ones with one comeplete gone and my spine collapsing. I had a 4 level spinal fusion 7/07. He was over their and has only been home once since the surgery. I bet I ingested a near months presciption of pain meds in his 10 day visit to get through it all. He wants to come home and has been corresponding this to me via email. I finally gave it up yesturday and told him to have every thing turned off and come home but dont' expect to come home to the 40 hr a week wife who is strong and energetic. I told him I can barley make it through normal activities of a day, work was an impossible task for me since i am a nurse who does hospice care. I told him the kids and I are at his mercy and I just did not want to fight it anymore. He said I was acting like my mother and if I need to have a pitty party and did not want to be in this happy life with him by all means leave. He said I shuld live life to the fullest and stop my pitty. He does not understand my chronic pain. I can play it out for a few days. You know make the 3 meals a day, beer on a silver plater as well as my ass but I always know he is leaving soon. I do it out of love but he never wants to hear about me and my pain. I don't want another break up. I am just not the same person I used to be. What can I do. He is a hard man with many good qualities. But he does not listen to me nor tries to understand. he thinks staying at home even after back surgery 5 months ago and only having to take care of this house and the kids is a bowl of cherries. I can't even stand stright sometimes. i have to rest between all ativities and sex..whats that. I have no interest in sex at all. Help..how do I gently let this tough man know and accept my reality?
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