last night I was in so much pain.The doctor is away and her temp couldnt fill my prescription.I have been living in aggany for four years now ever since I fractured my back skiing.Ive tried everything possible.and over the last three weeks Ive had three surgeries that did not work.just putting me in more pain.I'm so depressed and cant take the pain anymore.So last night I was at my lowest and was laying in bed awake from the pain and seriously considering taking a bunch of pills to end this pain.My 8 month old son and husband were in bed next to me and I kissed them goodbye.I went into the bathroom and had the pills in my hand but started to cry.I'm a christian woman how can I be thinking this I wondered and how would my son grow up knowing that i didnt love him enough to stay for him?but that is it I love him so much that in my head I feel he would benefit from me not being here.Not sitting in the house for days due to the pain.Trying to get him to take another nap because i cant hold his squirming body anymore.what kind of life is that for him?so Iam writting and joining this group to seek help.If anyone knows what it is like to have chronic pain and an infant please let me know how you did it. -Katie
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