From my journal, it keeps getting worse as you read this.

What a day yesterday was, we went to down did some banking, rent is due today. Took the car in to have a noise and a vibration checked. Belts and something with the exhaust. The car is going back today. We did get new tires for the car, well overdue but you know how that goes. Food and shelter are more important.
(the car now has to wait, keep reading)

After that the giant Super Walmart shop. It is a new store and all of the people working there haven't a clue to as where anything is or what the prices are. Idiots. Customer service should be most important. I guess working in the customer service biz, I look at everything a little more critically. It isn't Nordstrom's after all.

BTW, they didn't have half the things we needed on the shelves, they never restock the house brand of kitty litter fast enough. That's why we are forced to buy three at a time when we see it. Would hate to run out of litter and take food and water away from the cats until we go back to town in a week or so.

So since we were gone a long time I didn't take my afternoon meds, took them at dinner and was dumb enough to take the dinner pills just two hours later in case I fell asleep. Now I am REBOUNDING REALLY BAD. What an f'ing headache I have. You would think too much med means feeling no pain. Live and learn. we have more business in town, you bet I already have the pills in my pocket.

Rocky came with us, we just got his service animal tags. Four different employees approached us about Rocky, I showed the tag. Finally the fifth was a manager. I showed her the tag, reached in my pocket showed my Medicare card and said "I am not 65 so I guess that makes me medically qualified to have this service Chihuahua" He had never been in that type of setting before. He had been to Home Depot but they are not busy on Tuesdays. He kept standing up and we kept telling people dumb enough to stick their hand in our cart that Rocky bites.

At the final few aisles he figured out he could lay in the child seat part of the cart on his blanket. He was an angel. He should be ready for Vegas in plenty of time.

I want another chihuahua, Pink says no. But she saw a miniature Yorkie at the Pet Smart she was in love. $2000 for one of those with proper bloodline to be that extra small size. This thing was four months old and fit into the palm part of the hand with a touch of room to spare. We don't have it like that. We had to go into hock for what we are doing now. Hopefully she will settle for something cute tiny fuzzy and white. She wants scruffy looking like Benji as well. So we will find a middle and maybe get one as our Christmas present to each other. ( forget about it now, keep reading)

Love ya all, see ya later

Ouch

So we go to the vet with Flower for her eye. It is nothing with nothing. but she has ear mites and it is highly contagious with a fecal check because I want one done a touch over $300 bucks, there goes finishing the car this month. Oh yeah all the other cats have to go to the vet today. They are giving us a group discount. But it sucks. I feel terrible our cats are suffering and we didn't see any signs of it. We do care, we do love and constantly hold, brush, touch and talk to them. They couldn't be more loved but we missed this one big.

Thank god Rocky cannot catch them. (wrong, keep reading)

But how did they go from one cat to the other. Are these microscopic little just nasty looking things on my pillow? Yuck. I hope not (six loads of laundry with Lysol)

Ouch

Rocky got them too. $500 with meds covered all five animals. Crap why me, why does it always happen just when you can see the light, the bluebird of happiness flew overhead and shit on me.

Well since family is paying for the hotel in Vegas we are still going, so is Rocky clean ears and all. But that extra little poker money I had stashed is gone. Now the Vet can play instead. Oh they all need to have more shots in 14 days.

What does all of this have to do with chronic pain. Not a darn thing...

The worst part of all of this, is these tiny beautiful creatures that make us both smile every time we look at one of them were suffering. They never scratched their ears, never cried at the vet. They suffered in silence. With some sort of regal grace that shames me in two ways.

First, I hate pain. I hate to suffer from it, I hate the fact that when the pain is so great it sort of puts me into a state I cannot describe. A sort whole body shock hits, my mind shuts out everything else and I become the pain.

Second, I hate the fact that the animals that I promised to care for, that I promised to keep safe, fed, warm, healthy and happy were let down by me. I hate the fact that they handled their pain, better than I do.

Ouch

One more thing. One of the vet tech's has a husband who had to retire on work comp. He has massive spine issues including a past broken neck that they just fused. I told her about my surgeon, my pain doc, and this group and all of you. My family.

I hope he finds us, and the comfort and support you all give me everyday of my life.

Pink and I wish you all a wonderful, happy, and pain free weekend.

Ouch