I suffer chronic pain from spinal epidural abcess, 10 yrs ago. Golden Staph Infection. I just joined this group because I need to know if anyone else here who suffers chronic pain gets abused emotionally and neglected by family. I am so depressed and I don't understand the cruelty. The incompassion, selfishness. I spent my life since 18yrs old raising 4 children, all grown up now, I understand they eventually leave home, I can handle that, but for some horrible reason God decided to move them all thousands of miles away from me. The last one to leave left in Feb but before she left with an abusive man who bashed my grandson, she did some terrible things to me, but I kept forgiving her.I missed my 2 sons weddings because I couldn't get to where they live. And on 9th Sept daughter is marrying man in Thailand and everyone is going but me. I spent my whole life loving these children and I thought there would be a reward at the end of the day but all I got was a Staph infection and alot of neglect and abuse. There is alot to this story but won't go into it, I just wanto know how when all I know is how to be a mum, was taken from me, now in constant pain and although I have a car, pain stops me enjoying using it. And when I do go to a church or somewhere Ithink Imay be accepted no one talks to me. It's probably all my fault because I forgotten how to make friends and start conversations, I tried volenteer work but they made me lift heavy things, climb on stools to clean shelves knowing I wasn't well, they didn't care. I lasted 2 weeks. I just feel that since the pain has become worse over the years I'm just not needed anymore and I even had a minister tell me last year, that I was ill because of sin and because I don't talk in tongues. I never met him, I had been to his church 5 times and he was always away, so I called him and in a 10 minute conversation he felt he needed to tell me God doesn't love me. I stay home now don't talk to anyone.Except here. I think I might be losing it. I tried cousilling but I was mugged while sitting in my car on phone few weeks ago, after that I tremble at thought of driving anywhere.All I've ever experienced is life of abuse since baby and then dr did this to my body, it's so hard trusting. I think I'm babbling, had very bad week, I'm sorry. If no one has any advice that's ok, maybe someone will just pray for me cause I think that is most important right now. I'm in a very deep hole and I can't get out this time. I think emotional pain is worse than chronic physical pain sometimes, sometimes they come equal. Thankyou. Annie
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