I am trapped in my own home. I hate going out anywhere because of my pain and illness. I even hate taking a shower and dressing for the day. My life has become my couch or my bed. I hate the thought of having to get up and ready to go out and do anything. I'm getting to the point where I am losing or have lost alot of friends. I have 2 friends that ever call me and that's because they also struggle with health issues. I'm afraid I am pushing my husband away and having my son see his mom laying down all the time or crying isn't doing him any good and I'm worried about what kind of mother he thinks I am. I don't want all of his memories of me to be laying on the couch. I had a baby shower to go to yesterday....2 of my nieces and one nephew are all expecting a week apart and I couldn't even go to that. I was sick and my back was killing me and I slept most of the day. I feel like I am waisting my life away and in fact, I am. My depression has me trapped and left feeling alone and sad. I find it so rewarding to reach out to others, because I've always been such a people person, but now I have no idea who I am. I'm certainly not at all the person I used to be and everybody knows it. I know that people get irritated with me and I feel bad, but not bad enough to get up and get out. I just feel like I have nothing left to give to society, that my CP and my other issues have taken everything I have. Is this happening to anyone else? This has been going on since this last summer. I don't know what to do to get out of this. I need help. It's easier said than done too, I know that. I just need something and I want my friends back and I'm sick of crying all the time. Help!
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