You have to choose between lower pain levels and the couch or higher pain levels and life. It isn't enough to be alive you have to live your life.

We all struggle with this, somedays the couch wins. Just don't let it be most days. Delegate small things around the house and free yourself up for some bigger things.

Call your friends, have a pot luck, use paper plates. No extra burden on you and you get to see your friends. Heck order pizza and have movie time with your friends, all of you on the couch.

You can do this.

You, my friend, should not be in this state of mind. You have too much compassion. Get your butt off the couch and share some of that love that you obviously have. Take the time you need to do it, but do it.

You are not alone.

PM me if you have any questions.

David.

When I first got sick, we had moved twice so I didn't know a lot of people and was very sick and isolated. I basically disengaged for 2 years. It took almost losing my marriage to make me reingage and learn to live with my illness and CP.

Start slow, go out for dinner or go to a movie. If you are allowed to exercise, try and find something that you enjoy, aqua therapy or yoga, something gentle on the body. Therapy can be helpful whether in a group or individual. I so wish there was a group in my area but for now I settle for individual when I need it.

It's really about deciding that yes, I am alive. Be patient, there will be days and even weeks when the couch or bed is all you see, that's OK. On a good day or at least on a somewhat good day, head out and do something even if it is small. I find taking my dogs on an errand just makes me smile as they hang out the window and their jowls flap away in the breeze! So I take them to the bank or to pick up dry cleaning.

I am usually on the computer alot so if you ever want to chat, I'm available!

I totally understand how you feel. Like the others have said. Start with something small. You may surprise yourself of how good that feels. It is so easy to get stuck in a rut. I hope it gets better for you. I am here if you need someone to talk to. Take Care
Autumn

Dear Chapin, i can identify with the way you are feeling. I HAVE BEEN THE SAME WAY TOO. I do not know what meds. you are on, do you take anything for depression? The pain can cause all of this, but if you are depressed it will get much worse. Having chronic pain changes your life, and we have to adjust to it. I know i can never have the life i used to have but i still have those who need me and i hope i am able to help others who are just beginning this journey. Please get help for the depression if you are not. I wish there was more i could do for you. Let us all know how you are doing. Big Hug

Chapin, first of all, I am very sorry that you are feeling so bad, I know and understand what's going on with you, because I've been there. My CP robbed me of my job, that I loved, my house, my car and my friends, for two years I was living in a very, very small efficiency just me and my dog, because that is all I could afford.

My life change when I found my pain management Doctor, he is very pro-active, and listens to me, most of my appointment today, was him doing some neurological tests, and then he sat there and listen to him, to me he is like an angel! Do you have a pain management Doctor that is helping you? If you do, it seems to me that you are under-medicated, and this is why you don't want to go out, you cry and you get depress, I've been there, and I know how it is........

I don't know what kind of meds you are in, but I can tell you that Methadone and Dilaudid for break through pain change my life. I do not have the awful pain that I had before I met my Doc, we tried several medications within since 07 when I became his patient, and he has done a great job in looking for meds that take care of my pain, and my PCP gave Amitryptiline (sp?) for my depression, and I now feel happier than before, the gloom is gone, and life is again worth living.

You also might want to get a "Spiney" survivor kit, this is what I do. I have a lumbar pillow that I bring in to restaurants and anywhere else that has chairs that can make go into spasms, I also have a foldable "relax the back" chair that I bought at Big Lots, and helps me enjoy outdoor gatherings. I also have a mini cooler were I put my ice packs, so if the pain starts bothering me, I grab one of those and numb the pain. I also have a pill box that I keep in my purse, with only the dosages that I need of Methadone and Dilaudid since I don't like carrying all of my meds with me, just in case something happens.

You can change your life, but first, you need a good PM Doc that is willing and able to help you. I hope that you start feeling better, talk to your Doc about the depression and see if he can put you on something that will help. I am sorry for this long response, but since I've been there, I wanted to let you know how I got out of the same predicament that you see yourself right now.

Take care and know that we all care, and that we are here to talk whenever you need to vent.

Hugs,

I've been there, and if you can take small steps in regaining control over your life rather than let the ugly pain control it. There was a book recommended to me several years ago entitled " The Anatomy of An Illness" written by Norman Cousins.. It helped me a great deal, and I would recommend it. He wasn't dealing with pain, but the approach he used was surrounding himself with funny movies which brought laughter to me thus creating a better mood.
Also there is an article and a u-tube as well entitled " The Spoon Theory" written by a lady with lupus. It will help you in explaining to your friends and relatives of what it is to deal with a chronic illness.
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/
I hope this in some way will help you and the other postings as well. Wishing you better days ahead!!!!You are strong and you will overcome!!!!

beleive me I know how you feel, the other day I just laied down in bed and cried my eyes out I am so sick of being sick and the pain was more then I can handel, and no one seems to care much about me, I am having trouble geting into to see the rhumy I want to see and my pm doc thinks it's an edocrine issues which I don't think it is and I think I have lymes and all the tests for lymes keep coming back normal. I know how you feel, I am hurting and every joint hurts and none of my pain pills really help, the er doc I saw today said I am under medcatied and the pm doc thinks i am over, and it never ends. I haven't worked in over a year and my mom yells at me to get a job. I swear i have days i wish i am dead

I am on Cymbalta, but I've been on it for a very long time. My psychiatrist told me to think about getting on a different one, but I have to be careful that they don't make me gain any weight. I also have a pain managemnet dr. too and we have tried a variety of meds to help my pain. We lowered my meds in case I do have back surgery, so I am really struggling right now. I know what I need to do...I have to just "start" getting out a little at a time and I'll start to enjoy being out, but I'm not there yet. I've pulled myslef out of this I don't know how many times, but this time it feels different. It's harder. I think when spring comes I'll do better. I'll be able to get out more, take the dogs for a walk, stuff like that, but for now, I'm just a piece of skin covering my bones. I will try though, I promise. I've done it before. I just wish I had someone to push me....make me. My husband does alot and I go, but I never have a good time....never. When does that start to kick in after you do start getting out? I carry my pain meds with me where ever I go too, but I'm on the fentanyl patch and only 15mg of morphine 4xday. It's just not enough for me, but it also makes me very sleepy. I can't raise my dose because if I have back surgery, they'll never be able to get my pain levels down. What a mess!
Thank you everyone for your support and caring. I am so blessed to have so many people care about me and my well being. God bless you all!
~Doreen

big warm hugs minnie you just have to force yourself to go

Slowly, methodically, progressively take the function back, every day and unswervingly.

Chapin,

I really don't understand the logic of some Neurosurgeons and Orthosurgeons with having their patient go with no or little medication before surgery,. that to me in unacceptable, and I had that discussion with my Neurosurgeon, the one that did my cervical fusion.
He never asked me to slow down on my meds, or anything like that, he just told me that he was just going to have to adjust my IV meds while I am I post-op to make sure that I didn't suffer, and that worked!
He is absolutely against that practice, maybe CC can be us his professional opinion on this, but to me it does NOT make sense!

I hope that your start feeling better soon, take care!
Hugs,

Honey im so sorry your going through this!
I had been going through this, I had to force myself to get out of the house to get a pedicure and manicure for a girls day out on a saturday. It was so relaxing and it makes a big difference on your mood.
Talk to your friends, save money if you have to- and just make it girls day out.
I know this wont solve all of your problems, but you are so worth it and you need to pamper yourself.
Have you been able to talk to a counselor that would help too.
Big hugs to you honey!

I've been there too. Think baby steps. Put on your jeans and a coat and sit on your porch for 10 minutes, or the equivalent. If you can drive, drive to a park, stay in the car, and watch the geese for 15 minutes. If the people around you don't recognize your baby steps as an accomplishment, we will. When I was where you are the first time, I let myself become agoraphobic to the point after a while that I was afraid to go to the grocery store--not because of pain but actually of going out. I hear you, you have pulled yourself out of it before and will again. You are still reeling over the spine diagnosis. That's going to take a while but we don't want you to give in. Please let us know how you are doing!

hey friend, i'm so sorry your where your at. been there, recently.tore down and givin up.
a thing that did put some go in me was that a very close friend of mine has his mother dying. she's got hospice care but she and he are very close and now he's just waiting and watching her die. it's horrible. i couldn't stand it.his work is 12 minutes from my house. from wake-up it took me about 4 hrs. to drag my hurtin everything down there to give him some personal support. was a horribly painful day and the nights really startin to stomp on me. but yknow what? i'm smilin and tomorrow, even if i can't walk, i just have a better feeling about.
i know you are a super compassionate lady. you have inspired me several times by being yourself :)..i know that it helps you to help others..........so if you want, get ahold of me and while we're talkin i could maybe smash my leg with a bigass hammer, you wouldn't be able , i think, to counter your nature enuff to not help me out. might take your mind off things..........just a thoughy.
seriously my friend, i hate to see you this way. send me a message if you wanna talk, i'm driftin off here some but i'll be checkin back on you.

BE strong.
Take heart.
Expect the LORD.
PEACE.....................t