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5 Online
5 Online

Help DX something

My nieces EX husband has had his share of drug problems from Pills to smoking MJ to drinking way to much for such a young person of 25 he has gotten off to only go back on when they divorced.

He recently went into the ER as his grandparents took him he was throwing up blood and a few months ago he was having seizures and they said his liver enzymes were very high and of course he checked him self out before he got a DX.

Does anyone on here know what high enzymes would mean and the throwing up blood? is he is a dangerous point in his life.

I know this is sort of off topic but we all take meds and know medical stuff probably more then some nurses LOL and wondering if he abusing the pills could have an effect on these enzymes?

My niece is worried they have a five year old daughter together and we tried to goggle it but way to much info to wade through.

Thanks for any help with this

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I am sorry to tell you this but I have a friend who is an addict. They had symptoms like this before rehab took. He is on the way to killing himself unless he stops abusing.

Will be praying for him.
4solace
4solace

I am afraid Sunny is right. Especially pills, many are know to affect the liver, that is often why many of us have to have quarterly blood tests to check liver and kidney function.

Seizures, may be pill related, but more likely alcohol related. If he was on harder stuff like cocaine, extacsy, heroine, and the like, could also cause seizures.

Do not know of any MJ probs other than tar in lungs, but there is a lady on the fibro board, BasketMoon, she has a MJ group and has been an advocate for years, so you might try asking her. If profile private, let me know, she is on my friends list and I can message her for you.

Bottom line is, unless he wants to get clean, there is not much you can do. Some have tried interventions with varying success. If you try this route, I suggest contacting a professional interventionist first and consulting, then decide.

Went through this recently with my 19yo cousin, she chose no. Two weeks later.....arrested, 2 years in jail. But jail is better than dead.

I really feel for your niece, I know she hurts for her child and him.

I'll dig up what info I can and get back to you. Will be praying for all of you. Sending hugs, love, and comfort.

Tonna
deleted_user
deleted_user

High liver enzymes means that there is liver inflamation and damage. This can be caused by hepatitis, alcohol and drug abuse. Re:vomiting blood, damage to the liver causes interference with our blood clotting mechanism, and we bleed more easily and have trouble stopping bleeding. Cirrhosis of the liver can also cause varicose veins to form in the esophagus, and if they start bleeding it would cause vomiting blood. That type of bleeding is especially dangerous.

Bottom line, he is in a very dangerous place. I hope he gets some help before ti's too late.

Hugs and hth,
Theresa
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thank you so much as we are worried he stopped by the house the other day to tell the baby her hamster died and of course pick up money from my niece she did not know at the time but when he walked in he was so messed up he was slurring his words and he was slow. Now he said he just smoked MJ but we knew better as we know MJ does not do that to you.

He just got back his license he was in eight car accidents in two months and to top it off he had his grandma in the car when he stopped by, grandmas can have blinders on to. He has legal trouble because of drugs.

We are more worried about the pill and maybe Heroin and alcohol abuse then MJ is not that bad but I think he is abusing that as well smoking it chronically

Sunny I know he always says he is going to get clean but then he does not. I am afraid we are going to get that call one day he is dead by the drugs or getting in another car accident that he will not walk away from and I hope he does not hit another car.
jancam
jancam

My grandson's father is an active addict facing prison.
My daughter has given her life over to him.
My grandson is 15 months and will likely not know his Daddy.
My heart aches for all three of them.

No one in his family or mine has been able to help him...
Because he just is not ready.
He seems to be one that will die before he is.

It's so sad for whole families, Manny...I know.

Hugs.....jc..
Dixe4me
Dixe4me

I pray he gets help soon manny! I guess you've probably already pulled the 'will you do it for your daughter' hand?
Maybe telling him what everyone here has said it will get his attention and he will get the care he needs.
I hope so.
Hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user

my liver enzymes were first found to be severely high in 2010,i was put in the hospital..i had been drinking on the wkends with ex hubby..i was kept in there for a week..i was told i had inflamation of my liver and to never drink again.

.i havent drank since,,,,but my enzymes still go up...the gastro said i dont have cirrosis(cant spell)and my liver looks fine but my bile duct is enlarged...supposed to have a procedure done to get whats in it out

im a recoverying alcoholic.....im worried about your nieces ex hubby....he needs help bad but until he really wants to stop..you cant do anything but pray and encourage him to get help...

ive never thrown up blood......ill pray for him,he is so young...my oldest son had his bout with drugs and alcohol but is clean and sober now at 26,im so proud of him....he went to jail,rehabs..ect...then one day he decided he didnt like his life..he did it all by himself....ill pray for the young man....hugs to you
amy
gr8ful2b
gr8ful2b

I was a chemical dependency RN for 10 yrs. Look up esophageal varices manny. Could also be an ulcer. For 25 yrs old, he seems pretty far along with alcoholism. The bleeding combined with elevated liver enzymes speak more to alcohol than any thing else to me.

The seizures could happen when he doesn't drink. He may be detoxing at that time until he drinks again. I've also been in recovery for about 20 yrs. The best thing your niece can do is not support his pill and booze habit by giving him money. Maybe you could suggest Al-Anon for her??

If your niece stays with him, I hope she comes to realize that no threats, consequences or intervention will sober him up until he decides he wants it for himself. Personally, I would suggest to her to run for high ground. Best wishes.
deleted_user
deleted_user

My niece and him have been divorced for a few years she left him within the first year of marriage for someone else and he relapsed and Never stopped from that and he is getting worse and worse as time goes on.

He does not think he has a problem as he is a addict and so for will not get help at least at this time. I think he checked himself out of ER because he knew what they were going to say and did not want to hear it and face it.

Dixie, We have used his daughter card and no such luck he just does not think he has a problem and cant get through to him that he does.

It was very curious after he picked up the money from my niece she thought if was for tickets that two days later he ended up in ER it sounded to me he took that money and went on a binge and did not pay tickets at all.

Thanks again,
deleted_user
deleted_user

I don't know anything about this manny, but I just wanted you to know that I hope things get better for you and your niece.
serenityha
serenityha

manny, everyone is right. my two cents from working in the addiction field for many years is that you cannot force someone to get help or into recovery. there are 12 step groups for families affected as well. it sounds very advanced. that's terribly sad. prayers for him and your family.
sammyo1
sammyo1

Oh boy this is hard,
He is obviously in trouble here & we know what mixing can do.
I hate to say this but your niece has to step right out of his life. Until he has noone to turn to & realizes this he won't acknowledge his problems.

As long as there is communication of any kind its enabling him to continue on a destructive path.
As i said its hard as there is a child involved but this is not the kind of daddy she needs. He's more of a danger to her & everyone else in this condition.

Most people like this have to hit rock bottom to realize they can't control their impulses.
Hard hard choices. She simply can't hand him one cent. It would be best if she simply told him, when you can come to me sober & clean is when I will speak to you.

I learned this long ago with loved ones. I was told as long as I responded in anyway this person would not see they had a problem. Surely enough its only been when he hits rock bottom & alone they he attempts recovery. Weve all worried he would kill himself but at the same time we know if he continues he will do so anyone. Only we would have enabled him to do so.

I'm so sorry, very hard on families & so unfair to the children.
My daughter's ex boyfriend started the party path & she has chose to let him go until he realizes this can't continue. Its hard as she wants to believe him when he says he cleaned up but he slips up & she knows its not true.

Ive seen others pass away & for his sake & his daughters I pray he does realize hes in over his head. You know many times they do know they just refuse to think about it long enough to get help.

Good luck Manny & tell your niece to hang in there, tough choices to make.
Blessing to you all, Sammy
deleted_user
deleted_user

There is intervention. You can tell the addict that they have to chose to have a relationship with you or with the addiction.

The liver is amazingly able to heal itself. Mine was nearly destroyed by starvation from Celiac. It was not working at all when I was finally in the hospital and got the DX.

It takes care but the liver will heal. Mine is now fine.

But he has to stop the addictive behavior.

Can only pray for you to be firm with him. I kicked out a friend recently who had (not pills or alcohol) but other addictive behaviors that were hurting me. It is sad. But it is also tough love.
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for another is to refuse to support them in destructive behaviors.
serenityha
serenityha

something sammyo said reminded me of a training course i attended called "raising the bottom" (no joke here). the point, very basically, was to stop all enabling, to issue conditions of establishing communication (written), not an ultimatum, but a contract. and whoever is involved must be on board b/c triangulation is a common technique of manipulation - going to one person to get to the intended person (making a triangle instead of a straight line)- what they do on survivor, create alliances. as in, him coming to you saying she's being so unfair by not speaking to me when i just want to tell her i love her. (murray bowen can be searched for info on that if you want). personally, i think that it will hurt their daughter more having his inconsistency than removing him unless he gets treatment b/c then he won't be there for long. sorry so long-winded.
keeska
keeska

The only person who can help him is him. It sounds like he has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.

The most important thing to do is to be sure his daughter knows that his behavior is not normal and is not her fault. She would be better off without a daddy than with a daddy like this. Been there, done that. My siblings and I witnessed our dad's behavior as an alcoholic and him being gone for days at a time fueling his addiction. We thought that was how all daddys act. And so will his daughter. If at all possible, spare her this legacy.

My dad's addiction killed him when I was 12. And I can guarantee that he wasn't thinking about his kids. He was thinking about the next drink.

Sorry to be so sour. This is a touchy subject with me.

I'll pray extra hard that he will decide to get clean and sober.