Im fed up of being in pain. Once again its a Saturday night and I cant go out cause Im in too much pain. Once again Im sitting by myself with a bottle of wine cause no pain meds help. Im so sick of this ruining my life. Ive got tickets to go a festival in two weeks, I dont know how the hell Im guna manage it or why the hell I bought tickets in the first place. I cant stand up for an hour let alone a day. My life has been ruined, all the things I used to do I cant any more-and I kid myself that I can do these things. Im sure you all understand. I just want to do what I used to do. I cant even hug my boyfriend it hurts too much. I used to run, rock climb, play instruments, dance, go to gigs anything and everything...and now it hurts too much to lie down let alone do the things I used to enjoy. Ive just had enough, and I know I cant do anything about it except sit and wait for the pain to be a 'good day' to try to do something I enjoy. And I know Im lucky compared to others, and Im grateful for what I have. But I really am sick and tired and fed up.
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